LOVE this: Davina McCall’s menopause sweatshirt
Davina McCall on Instagram (she knows she’s got lipstick on her teeth)
Earlier this year, TV presenter Davina McCall was trolled online for appearing on The Masked Singer in a figure-hugging dress that she was deemed far too ‘wrinkly crinkly’ and ‘old,’ for. In response, the fabulous, super-fit 53-year-old said, ‘ Really sorry. Absolutely no chance of demure, over here. Growing old disgracefully is much more fun.’ Good for her. I don’t usually give this kind of thing any oxygen but last week an artist who posted an unfiltered picture of herself on Instagram was told she ‘needed to have work done’. If we don’t eliminate the boundaries, how do we make progress? It’s important to see women of all ages on TV and social media, wrinkles and all. People should be able to wear what they like and do what they like without being insulted by (often anonymous) strangers. What matters is to feel content and confident as we age, rather than constricted by outdated rules and miserably chasing eternal youth.
When I worked with Davina McCall on a project, she was absolutely lovely. That’s all anyone needs to know. Davina McCall is a decent human being. And good fun. I love this picture she posted on Instagram of the menopausing sweatshirt with what sounds like my internal dialogue printed on the front. The slogan sweatshirt is made by Crudely Drawn and available HERE.
I think they’re onto something. Now, what was I doing?
Discussion (43 Comments)
Carol says:
Isn’t about time we stop talking about it and start doing it??? I mean, we women should be beyond making comments about others’ choices and we should be uplifting and supporting each other. Let’s be honest, we are all going to wrinkle (even with “having work done”), we are all going to go through menopause, we are all going to sag where we don’t want to sag, and deal with brain fog. Compared to our mother’s generation, I think we can look damn good doing so! My mother used to tell me,”if you haven’t got something nice to say, don’t say anything.” I use this advice judiciously because sometimes I can’t be nice when I have something to say…That being said, my menopause sweatshirt would say, “Sheets off, wipe sweat, sheets on, repeat all night.” Carol in VT
Completely agree with you, Carol. Uplifting and supporting one another rather than sniping is the way to go. And my mum used to say that, too.
Danish Pastry says:
Your comment “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything” is so true, and one I tend to follow on social media where it’s so easy to be misunderstood. However, sometimes I do feel the need to respond to other’s negativity – I try to do so constructively. Comments such as Davina recieved are in no way constructive.
Nicola says:
I live by the “ if you can’t say anything nice at least make it funny” rule!
I was talking to a friend yesterday who has just retrained ( just shy of her 60th birthday) and is about to do her first public speaking event. She’s got imposter syndrome and I was reassuring her how awesome she’s going to be ( which she is). And it occurred to me that women our age really are awesome because we’ve tackled so much. I honestly think that’s one of the reasons we get flack – because we are quite knowledgeable and powerful. And if we refuse to be put down by petty gibes about appearance then we are unstoppable.
Jane Royce says:
I’ve made this comment before, but my elderly (now departed) mother used to roll her eyes at some of my outfits (I’m 54) and once said when she saw me wearing a beautiful Toast sundress: ‘well, this’ll be the last year you wear that’.. I had no idea what she meant.. and then I realised. Middle aged women shouldn’t reveal their shoulders in a close fitting halter necked summer dress
Davina’s sweatshirt is fun. My friend Suzi designs lovely t-shirts with slogans such as ‘invisible’ and ‘frump’ .. along with lots of other fabulous things. Her company is called Twisted Twee. I’m thinking of wearing an ‘invisible’ t-shirt to work .. (sadly, to my middle aged male boss, that may well be true)
Jill Brewer says:
I’m 3 weeks off 65 and I’ll be wearing my stompy boots for my first vaccine tomorrow along with a colourful coat. I hate the way that older women are expected to disappear. So pleased to have recently found your blog.
Harriet Forde says:
My favourite bit of Davina’s photo is that she has a bit of lipstick on her teeth…human, just bloody human!
Alison says:
Agree with all the above. I am just shy of 57 and the last few years have been the most productive of my life. When my elderly parents passed on and my children became adults, I had time to think about what I wanted, literally for the first time ever. It is like getting Superpowers. Feck the begrudgers, as we say in Ireland. Let’s glory in our wrinkles and our wisdom and our laughter. Wear the boots and the bright clothes or the nun’s habit if that’s your thing . Be grateful to have arrived at this point.
Kathleen says:
OMG Alison, that’s my new favorite saying. Feck the begrudgers! I want to put THAT on a sweatshirt!
Imogen Boas says:
Why do women have to put up with an endless commentary on what they look like, wear, don’t wear etc etc men don’t have to put up with is nearly as much. Men are guilty of doing it but so are women! As my Mum says ‘if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.’
Maureen L says:
I’m proud of my wrinkles. They are a sign of a life lived naughtily, enjoyably with attitude and red lippy
Mhairi Shaw says:
Why do people think that they have the right to make comments on another person’s appearance/age in an unkind way. You are you and should do whatever the heck you like in terms of how you look and dress, at whatever age. Davina McCall seems like a genuine, lovely person. She also looks amazing as far as I’m concerned and she appears to not give a hoot about what people think and smiles a lot. I’m fed up with people making comments about women ( I’m sure men get comments as well) they don’t know just because they can. Be kind people, its really not that hard and its none of your business how other people choose to be. I agree with, “if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything”. I’m always telling my children, you never know what someone is going through so do not judge and there’s always something nice to say that could make a difference to someone’s day.
Sara says:
So many fab comments from so many fab women. At 70, I strongly believe I have the right to look as I wish to look and if that includes full slap one day and none the next, skinny jeans, chunky boots, so what? I might even wear a sleeveless dress when summer comes….. One of the great things about getting older is that freedom not to care about derogatory comments about appearance. It is for ME that I want to feel good and look good in my own style and while I like to do so, I also think it is not the most important thing about me. Women being good to other women is a particularly good way to go; a slight adaptation of Madeline Allbright’s comment that there is a special place in hell for those women who don’t help other women. I do hope the troll comments were not from other women?
Valleycat1 says:
I remember back in the 1960’s and 1970’s when what we now call stumpy or chunky boots were called “granny boots” when they became the fashion for young women, because up until then only old women wore clunky shoes.
Anne Paul says:
Beautifully put, at 67 myself, I believe we(women)should dress as we please if it gives use pleasure. Good for Davina keep going in the same vein.
Yvonne says:
Davina McCall is beautiful! Whoever made those disparaging comments was probably jealous. Sometimes (sadly) some women treat other women worse than men do. We need to support and help each other. I grew up with older adults and most of my friends were much older than me and I love being in their presence. I learned so much and I appreciate young and older women.
LOVE your blog… so authentic! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!Claire B says:
Agree with everything already said! There were women on television my mum, now 94, used to say she didn’t like watching, she could never really tell me what it was about them (it was always women I liked, probably women who were slightly bolshy!) but I realised it was women who didn’t conform to her idea of how a woman should behave and look. My mum loved clothes but had very set ideas about what you could and couldn’t wear, ie you shouldn’t wear sleeveless tops after “a certain age”. Unfortunately women have not only had to put up with judgement from men but women too, thank goodness (I hope) things are changing. I’m 62 and wear what I want, the days of conforming to some outdated idea of invisibility are over thank god.
Great reaction from Davina – it’s the only way to deal with negative energy like that. Davina seems a lovely person, now I’m off to check that sweatshirt.
Seren says:
Davina McCall is a bloody legend! Not only did she complete the absolutely gruelling 2014 Comic Relief Challenge at the age of 46 but she also endured an unhappy (slight understatement) childhood and conquered drug addiction – which she has always been open about. She is genuinely beautiful inside and out, fit, healthy, with a lovely family and a great career. Oh and never takes herself too seriously and would make a wonderful best mate. Perhaps trolling is another word for the green eyed monster?
And now off to order the sweatshirt!
Thank you for sharing this. Am laughing my bottom off……………….. learned a long time ago to just be myself. Sometimes I brush my hair, sometimes not, no makeup, casual and comfy clothes. So freeing.
Jac says:
I wish I could literally laugh my bottom off. But I agree with everything you say. I like to think our generation of over fifties are much more relaxed about social expectations. I think Linda Wright on instagram is a real inspiration. And our own Alison of course. My 87 year old mother has never owned a pair of jeans and is not a female ally. I like to think we’ve begun to buck that trend.
Deb says:
I had my 65th birthday yesterday and very hopeful the big “M” is well and truly behind me with all the things mentioned on that hilarious Sweatshirt- showed it to my dear friend who is in the throes of those wretched “private summers!” She thought it was great but she would be too hot!! Perhaps they might do a cotton t shirt?
Susannah says:
Agree with all that has been said but ( am I the only one who has this problem?), I won’t be wearing that sweatshirt. My grandchildren are just getting good at reading and I’m not sure I or others really want them spelling out and saying Fuck to their little hearts content. You can be sure that’s the bit they’d remember. Oh and picking them up from school would be interesting…!
Hope that doesn’t make me a killjoy?
I’d like one that said all the rest of the sentiments and “Go Away” in lieu of “Fuck Off”.Paula says:
I agree with you, Susannah. I don’t understand the seeming current “popularity” of this vulgar word.
Gilly says:
I do hope that all the wonderful women who read this blog also “ follow” Jo Good on instagram and Youtube where she is the Middle Aged Minx . I live in Australia and have found her radio show which i listen to on BBC sounds the next day, and her videos have helped me see my country through this horrible time and shown me a great single life.
I am 60 and in live at the beach with my Spoodle.It absolutely amazes me how rude some people will be when they’re hiding behind a keyboard. Would they say the same things to Davina McCall’s face? I doubt it. So sad when a woman tries feel better about herself by putting another woman down. Instead, we need to lift one another up.
lesquatrechat says:
what an ageing and old unfriendly society, do people who despise older people realize they will also be looking old someday? really dislike anti-aging sort of words, aging is the natural process of human being, being a kind and fun person is much more important than looking younger.
Theresa says:
Trolls are cowardly idiots, hiding in their bedrooms behind closed curtains. . I am 63 now, I have more confidence in myself than ever, have discovered I’m an awesome baker and dressmaker. I am intelligent and articulate. I stand taller than I ever have in my life (figuratively lol!). I am a bit obsessed however with women on our screens who have destroyed their beauty with cosmetic work and fillers. Seriously, I cannot look at anything else on the screen just the duck bills and stretching. I think how sad it is that they feel the pressure to do this to their beautiful selves. Roll on the day when all women can just be happy in their skin, no matter their age. Well done Davina, yes women get older and go through menopause. Men get older and buy sports cars lol. That’s the Male menopause!
Fran says:
Sadly, wasn’t surprised at all that the troll in question was a woman. A male friend once commented that I was a man’s woman. He was correct in this as I generally find women “difficult” to get on with. Having said that, I do have a very small group of “selected” female friends whose company I enjoy. On the theme of age, I am happy to say that I grow more confident & content with life as time passes. Looking forward to my 54th year next week.
Fran, I think your reply is so interesting! I THINK I understand your drift .. and if I’m right, I agree. Women can often be so judgemental of other women.. and for that reason, I struggle a bit, especially with the large group / gang of women hanging out together thing, where fitting in seems to be the goal. (though I also have a fantastic v small set of individual women friends, most of whom I’ve been close to for decades). It’s the tendency of women (sometimes, but I feel it directed at me often) to look other women up and down .. I’ve actually seen colleagues at work do this to me unashamedly and visibly judge. I think my appearance is often a bit unusual.. I dress for myself and I know it can sometimes look v different from ‘fashion’ . It’s why I also seem to get on better with men: I don’t think they are so judgemental about women’s appearances. Alyson, is there a TNMA article in here somewhere??
Oh, so nice to hear Jane & to confirm that it’s not just me! It’s what I call “been back at school” syndrome when it’s about trying to fit in with the crowd. Very liberating to dress for ourselves. My hubby says that many women dress for other women. I agree & think that’s very sad. I love clothes but not so much fashion. I prefer to wear clothes which suit my lifestyle, shape, personality & colouring. Once I told a complete stranger how stylish she looked. She was wearing clothes that suited her rather than following the herd. Her lovely smile & words of thanks made my day.
lizzie g says:
i’m on board with the sentiment, but i reckon the t shirt would be so much better if it just had the smaller text. A tee can say yellow submarine or strawberry fields forever without having to say the beatles in headline text.
Davina looks great. better a big smile with lipstick, than a frown.
Jane, i dont think most men are tracking the fashion discourse or dictats as much as women, so maybe they are not judging what is last season or last decade, hot off the rails, or directional, high street or high end.
Switch off the noise, its the best way to hear your own voice, as you seem to know well already.
Rachel 
Christine March 
Anne 
Jean 
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‘If we don’t eliminate the boundaries, how do we make progress?’ Very well said, Alyson! Time to take a firm stance and reject all those age-shaming pressures we are subjected to in myriads of small ways in our everyday lives.
And I love that menopause sweatshirt – it’s the story of my life.