Going grey – again! (Dyeing naturally grey hair a darker shade of grey)
Embracing the ageing process doesn’t mean your hair has to stay the same shade for ever. Around 10 years ago I decided to grow in my naturally greying hair. My hairdresser encouraged me – and later told me she’s allergic to hair dye so she was never going to try to dissuade me! I made the decision and I’ve enjoyed the minimal maintenance of leaving my hair how it naturally grows. All it’s needed is cutting, purple shampoo, and occasional lilac-toned, hair conditioning masks. This decade is the longest period my hair has been its natural colour since I first started dyeing it.
My first colour change was in my early teens with a clear liquid called Fair Hair Lotion sold by the local health food shop. My stepdad and I both liked a ‘sunkissed’ look, and as it was sold alongside natural products, we reasoned it must be non-chemical. Untrue, as we soon realised, because if we didn’t blend the lotion in well, we ended up with yellow patches rather than subtle highlights.
Around this time I went to Vidal Sassoon’s academy to have my hair cut by students, under close supervision. Once they decided to use a new subtle colouring technique, called Flying Colours, introduced by then International Colour Director Annie Humphreys, now hailed as the mother of modern hair colour. It was applied and I was sat under a dryer. And they forgot about me, and left it on too long. So when I went to school on Monday morning my friends sat around me pointing out all the different shades they could see. Luckily the balayage-style effect was quite subtle…
Mainly I coloured my hair at home, mixing up khaki-coloured henna powder, and using box dyes both temporary and permanent, and over the years my hair has varied from pale blonde to dark brown, pale pink to coppery auburn and deep red, with occasional temporary tips, streaks and strands in every colour of the rainbow.
In my late thirties I went to work in Japan with bleached blonde hair. My roots needed doing so I bought a hair-lightening product from the local chemist. One of my housemates translated the instructions for me, and I applied it. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I could literally see my hair lightening by the second, and washed it off after a fraction of the stated time. Bleach for black Japanese hair was obviously stronger than what I’d been used to, and I ended up my lightest blonde ever.
Before and after: Adrienne with greyer hair
Fade to grey
Recently, though, I’ve been feeling a little bored with my hair, even though I have had many different cuts over the past decade. And sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and feel I’m paling into insignificance. And that concern isn’t just vanity; you can be too pale to be picked up for official photos. When I tried to take a pic for my last passport, it kept being rejected as unacceptable for being too light in colour. And I’m not the only one this has happened to.
Official gov.uk guidelines stipulate that the pic must be taken “against a plain cream or plain light-grey background” but if you have pale skin and pale hair there may not be enough contrast to render an accurate representation of your face. Somewhat disconcerting, to say the least. This is a new iteration of Invisible Woman Syndrome!
Going for grey
When people have complimented me on ‘going natural’, after I’ve thanked them I would usually add that I reserved the right to colour my hair again at some point. Going grey isn’t a lifetime commitment, or signing a pledge to stay grey, it’s just a choice. We’re not compelled to meekly accept the colour sprouting from our follicles. And I felt like a change. So I’ve dyed my hair again. But not back to blonde, or mousy-brown – it wasn’t an attempt to look younger – I’ve gone grey, again. (Schwarzkopf Live Urban Metallics in Dusty Silver).
I shook the colour and developer together, then snapped off the top of the applicator bottle – oh, that familiar, breathtaking whiff of hydrogen peroxide! I massaged it all in, and left it for 30 minutes.
When I’d rinsed it out I faced the mirror. Surprise! Previously my long, messy bob was very light grey, almost white around my face, with darker zones towards the back of my head. Now it’s more uniform, although there is still variation. After a couple of days of being startled every time I caught my reflection I’m used to the darker shade. I think it adds definition to my face, and I don’t look as washed-out. My partner noticed immediately, saying it really suits me. Four friends didn’t notice at all, so maybe the change is not as dramatic as it feels to me.
Now I just need to deal with the root regrowth!
Adrienne Wyper is a health and lifestyle writer and regular TNMA contributor.
In the meantime here are some of our favourite grey hair products:
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First photo courtesy of Paradyes.
Discussion (22 Comments)
Angela Griffiths says:
Hahah! Like you Adrienne, I would henna my brown hair in the 80s and I loved how it conditioned my hair. I also loved the burnished golden tones the henna created, which looked especially lovely in sunshine! But the ROOTS!
After about a year I stopped the whole messy business of cow patting my head every 6 weeks by which time a perm had also joined my repertoire!
Once I grew out of perming my hair I did reminisce about those lovely golden glints so I had some lowlights put in. But the ROOTS!
After that my greying hair developed the loveliest white streak to the front/left so no more colouring and I discovered a bob which suits me.
I had the same hairdresser for 30 (!) years but then she moved 120 miles away. So, I have been introduced to a new hairdresser and absolutely LOVE the slightly-but-not-too different cut she does! MUCH better! The right changes are good!
No annoying roots and my hair always looks its best – even if some days the rest of me doesn’t!
Mrs Tonia says:
Glad to see this topic here today. I had dark brown hair which I used to dye at salon with a semi permanent colour every few months. Once I started reading TNMA I saw Alyson’s bold approach to going grey. In 2018 I decided to follow suit. It took about two years to get rid of the dye. I had sharp haircuts to compensate for this “messy look” and was careful with my clothing choices and styling during this phase. I also wore make up on eyes, cheeks and lips every day. The bottom line is vastly improved hair texture and manageable locks. I don’t need or use purple shampoos having tried them. I’ve saved money in the process. Whatever I spend on hair goes to getting good cuts every few months. That gives me confidence.
I’m glad I stuck with it and followed the example of Alyson and others out there.
It’s not white but streaky grey salt and pepper look but I’m okay with that. For me it was the right decision.Cindy from Canada says:
Another wonderful blog, Adrienne. When I met my amazing hairstylist 12 years ago, my hair color was salt and pepper. During the consultation, he mentioned he would never color it – he found the color flattering for my skin tone, and that I would save time and money by not having to get the roots touched up every 6-8 weeks. As for the hair cut, I have gone from a chin length bob to a pixie fade cut – and I love it. I look forward to seeing him in 2 weeks.
carol ann says:
I also went through the process of growing out a dark brunette. Wonderful hairdresser who did lowlights and other tricks to blend the old with new and keep everything fresh. I was fine with the sparkle of silver and white hair UNTIL my entire face frame was no longer showing any dark brown hair. I looked tired all the time – with/without makeup. I looked sick all the time – with/without makeup. Didn’t look old because the skin is still smooth and wrinkles are minimal. But when I looked in the mirror, it wasn’t me I saw. It was my Italian grandmother, it was my Italian mother – it wasn’t me. I am again a brunette and the experiment is over. I applaud all of you who can keep it after the full grow out.
Janet says:
This is really interesting especially about the invisibility aspect of being grey. I find I’m wearing more shades of grey, and black, with flashes of colour in scarves, earrings etc. I don’t know if it makes me ‘more grey’ , but it’s easier to have a change of look than dyeing my hair, but I do understand that too.
I’ve also found a great range of products from White Hot Hair, whitehothair.co.uk, developed especially for grey/silver/white hair, very reasonably priced too.
I don’t think they are in the list of products shown here, but I really recommend them.Hi Janet, Agree! I’m a fan of White Hot Hair products and have featured them several times. There’s a podcast interview with the brilliant founder Jayne Mayled here:
Schwarzkopf Live Urban Metallics in Dusty Silver. I’ll add this info to the feature.
Jan says:
What is the gentlest way to allow my hair to go natural (white)? In my 70’s now and have maintained a dark brown for decades. Thanks!
Sue says:
I too had the invisible woman syndrome on a passport photo session! I wanted to wear my naturally almost white hair down, but it was rejected. Not my fault that I’m white and the background was white ♀️ infuriating! I had to scrape my hair back, not a good look
Gabriele says:
I loved going grey, but not too happy with my color. My hair is not a salt/pepper mix, but literally salt (mostly front) and pepper (mostly back of head). I look very washed out with all the white around my face. I am using semi permanent darker grey and it looks so much better on me. But those colors wash out so quickly. It sounds like you used a permanent color, which I am worried about because of the “demarcation line”. Any suggestions of what I could use would be much welcomed. Thanks!
Jayne Johnson says:
I love the colour of your hair. I would love to be this colour I think. I’m struggling as at 64 I’ve still got a lot of dark brown with a liberal sprinkling through of grey/white. It sounds OK but it just looks drab. I’m unsure about colouring it as I don’t want to be dark brunette again and I don’t want highlights and these are the only suggestions I’ve had from hairdressers. In fact I’ve become so dispirited with hairdressers I’ve been cutting my hair for over five years. It’s not a good look but I think I’ve lost my way regarding my hair. Articles like this are very helpful. Thank you.
DJ says:
What about ‘low lighting’for with a darker gray, not as severe and easier touch for roots
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I’ve had the passport application faff – official invisible woman syndrome! I love my streaky grey hair and get lots of comments. Though I get bored with the bob, it suits me and my straight hair so it’s here to stay.