On the Greydar: Alys Fowler
Alys FowlerpPhoto: Ming de Nasty
My greydar whirred into action, last week, when gardening journalist and author Alys Fowler posted a photo of her new haircut and discussed embracing her natural hair colour on Instagram. Here’s what she said:
‘If I was a man would I be writing about this? Part of me is quite sure I wouldn’t, I shouldn’t be. I’d like to say I don’t care, but I’d be lying. I am going grey, naturally. I’ve struggled with this one, it’s such a big part of my identity, my red hair, but now it’s more salt and chilli than anything else. I’ve contemplated long and hard about dyeing it, but when I thought about the time, to say little of the money and I worked out what it might add up to over the next decade. Well, I could buy more garden with that! So I chopped it off instead and the grey blends in much better now. (The lovely Vicki at Essensuals cuts my hair. I’ve been slowly getting shorter and shorter, so she knew it was coming). If it decides to go all white, I think I’ll grow it again. Till then I’m enjoying the release from all that red hair and wild curls. It’s utterly liberating, not that I exactly styled it before mind…’
Alys before the chop
‘…However, if I dyed it I would look younger. It’s not that grey hair ages me, it is my age, it’s just we’re supposed to chase the other direction. To go back to the beginning, I could have spent this time writing or reading or doing something far more interesting. Still here I am, going grey and writing about it. I’d like to thank @thatsnotmyage, who’s blog and insta has been brilliant at championing not just grey hair, but the awkward in-between. I think I might have caved in and dyed my hair if it wasn’t for Alyson’s inspiration.’
Whoop. What a lovely surprise. Alys and I have never met but we follow each other online, and to hear that That’s Not My Age can have such a positive impact fills me with joy. When I started blogging I wanted to provide options for ageing, to show there are many ways to grow older and to empower women; knowing that I’ve achieved this goal makes all the hours spent slogging at the keyboard, the sweat and the tears worthwhile. I messaged Alys to say thank you, asked how she felt a few days later and what kind of response she’d had to her haircut in real life:
‘As a redhead it takes a very long time to go completely white, my dad in his eighties still has the sheen of red, but the red fades dramatically. I just felt rather dull. But with short hair and a good haircut, I feel stylish rather than fading. I think because I like this haircut so much I carry myself differently and thus I get a good response wherever I go. You can be many things with unruly curly hair, but sleek isn’t one of them, for the first time I feel in control. And that suits where I’ve got with my age, I’m 40 and ready for this decade.’
It’s not about age, it’s about mindset. More on grey hair HERE.
Discussion (31 Comments)
Jodi Brown says:
I’ve always thought that Alys was spectacularly beautiful and I think she will be stunning as a silver fox. Lovely woman.
Although I normally agree with Mrs Tonia, I love my messy bob and don’t want to go shorter. I may even have some blue streaks put into the salt and pepper……..BARB Moore says:
I’m 67 and have never coloured my hair except once. According to my hairdresser I complained so much that it wasn’t EXACTLY my hair colour etc. etc. that ever since she’s refused to do it again! 🙂 I get a lot of compliments on my hair colour as it gets increasingly grey. I guess I’m about 60 grey 40 brown. I know she’s right that I’d never keep up with the maintenance and any roots showing, or any change in texture less than silky soft would drive me insane. So I never see the big deal. GO FOR IT!! Enjoy the freedom!
Christine says:
I would chop my hair off in a minute if my neck could stand up to it like Ms Fowlerp’s, just as I might consider dressing boyishly if my body were built differently. I don’t mind the signs of time on my face but the neck is a disaster.
Joyce Morris says:
Same here Christine! Turkey resemblance. The sad thing is that my face is good for 70, but the neck and chest a disaster. We weren’t told about maintenance back then. Bring out the polos I’m afraid.
Juli says:
My god, what a handsome woman! She has the gorgeous bone structure to pull off the short cut. I hope she loves it and gets ALL THE COMPLIMENTS!! She certainly deserves it.
Jean says:
Every so often when I’m having my hair cut my stylist will ask if I want to cover the (ever increasing) grey hairs. I decided not to a while ago, and just let it grow naturally not just because I like the grey but also because I’m not the best at looking after my hair and couldn’t cope with the upkeep. I love that more women are embracing their grey hair.
Rhoda says:
Have just moved to Copenhagen and am struck by how few women here in Denmark dye their hair (as compared with UK). So many women looking absolutely stunning with hair at all ages stages between a few early greys and the purest of white. It’s truly fabulous – so liberating and uplifting!
Have just moved to Copenhagen and am struck by how few women here in Denmark dye their hair (as compared with UK). So many women looking absolutely stunning with hair at all ages stages of the transition between a few early greys and the purest of white. It’s truly fabulous – so liberating and uplifting!
Anne says:
I’m 41 and 75% grey now. I used to dye it, but stoppped about 3 years ago. On Friday I got off an airplane in Amsterdam and on the bus to the terminal an elderly American man told me: “Your haircolour is beautiful”. I smiled and thanked him. SO nice! 🙂 I agree with Rhoda, I think in northern Europe women embrace their natural beauty more easily. I’m Dutch myself and I’m still amazed at how much make-up women in the UK wear and how much effort they make to style and dye their hair. Personally, I prefer natural beauty – doesn’t Alys look gorgeous?!
Jane says:
Alys looks absolutely beautiful, and I admire her honesty about struggling with the decision to dye or not. I’m 56 and still color my hair. I let the grey grow for a few years, but immediately began to notice how people treated me differently. I’m single, work, and have a special needs daughter. I need people to pay attention to me and treat me like an equal colleague. I went back to dying my hair and poof, people started treating my differently; asking questions, listening, not leaving me wait at counters, restaurants, etc. Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.
This is a profoundly depressing but widespread attitude towards ‘older’ women. It really p****s me off.
Sandra Cameron says:
Have to agree with you Jane. I tried not colouring my greying hair for about 8 months, I wanted to see how much grey I had and whether I liked it. Another TNMA inspiration! The white bits were great, the steel wool coloured bits were off putting and I had somehow grown some dark clumps on what had always been a mousy blonde head. All up a bit of a dog’s breakfast but I found that I also had become invisible. Recently started using a tonal home colour product which results in a very natural looking streaky grey blonde and voila I have become visible again. I’ll try going grey again when I’ve got more white but I certainly didn’t like the invisibility bit at all!
little brown bird says:
Alys has the most beautiful facial bone structure and that haircut is fabulous x
Yolande Knight says:
I find it interesting that there’s an automatic assumption that dyeing one’s hair makes you look ‘younger’. I’ve found that it’s not necessarily the case, unless you have a really good colourist, and are willing to spend a lot of money. Home dyeing generally doesn’t give the impression of the natural mix of shades that we have, and people tend to stick with too-dark a shade (the shade they remember being when in their twenties or thirties), which then often doesn’t quite suit them as it used to. It often ends up looking harsh, having the opposite effect (ie making them actually look older) than intended.
Bonnie L says:
I am not a shorthair person, but that cut suits Alys SO well, I may have to reconsider. She’s gorgeous!
The cut is very youthful. The gray is coming in nicely and her natural color is beautiful. I wouldn’t die it either.
Alys is beautiful. Great bones. She is doing what is right for her. I stopped dying my hair years ago and never looked back. I think the grey is very soft on the face. I couldn’t stand going to the colorist every three weeks and spending three hours. I have never found that I’m ignored. I don’t allow people to ignore me. My hair has gotten whiter and suddenly my favorite color to wear is white!
Jill shooter says:
Oh thank you, this is such a timely post. I decided last week not to colour my hair anymore.
Despite my colourists best efforts I was not happy worh the last set of highlights. My hair is mid blonde with very pale grey coming through.
I was also not too comfortable spending £100 3x a year on ‘my colour’ ! I was walking past a newsagent and there in a magazine was a model with exactly my colouring and whose hair was growing out so stylishly.
So I decided then and there!
The money will be going to having some weekends away with my husband #winning
Thank you Alyson.Lea says:
I agree, a good short haircut that frames the face can be liberating. For me, it fits better under my cycling helmet, then springs back with a little fluffing. And so good with interesting earrings.
But going gray? Sadly all the yellowy gray bits combined with natural color that gradually changed from a decent dark blond to something dishwatery just drabbed me out. And I’m not interested in compensating with makeup since I have an aversion to anything beyond sunscreen, tinted moisturizer and tinted lip balm.
Finally, after valiantly trying to embrace the gray look, I went and got foil highlights that will gradually fade out with no roots. Lots of gray still, not a whit younger looking, but my skin looks less washed out and I feel livelier. So that’s what I’ll do for awhile.
Lovely hair. I met up with an old friend, 61 like me, recently and was amazed to find that she is still as she always was, hair-wise. A true auburn, her hair has not greyed at all and retains its smoothness. Her mother was the same apparently. It is very much luck of the draw.
Goddessinthedetails says:
I have only a few grey hairs. I get my hair coloured not to hide them – in fact, my hairdresser isn’t bothering with the roots anymore when she does my balayage – but to lighten my natural colour. The thing about getting older is that your natural hair colour may no longer go with your natural complexion. I found my dark, almost black, shade looked so draining against my no-longer-quite-so-porcelain skin.
Vivienne says:
I totally agree with Alice , I had Wonderfull brownish red curls with the ever creeping grey roots and decide enough of touch ups every 4 weeks , so copped it off and let the grey take over. I felt great with my pixie cut , a new me and also very stylish ….I got mixed responses and almost grief from some for cutting my curls . Now I have a great silver grey hair with very stylish undercut…new woman …..embrace the new you Alice you look fabulous .
Camilla Gray says:
I’m a ginger, nearing 65, who has kept a short crop for decades. Losing the red hair has been one of my most poignant challenges. I’ve been “the redhead” my entire life…neither of my parents nor my siblings were gingers! Redhead has been a big part of my identity.
My hair has faded quite a bit to a strawberry grey/blonde. I do sometimes put in a light red rinse, if it’s winter and I am feeling just too drab. It gradually fades after about 2-3 weeks. Next time I’m blue I do another rinse for a few weeks of “boost”.
But I have a horror of being the elderly woman with dyed hair the shade of The Little Mermaid’s locks, so I think when I turn 65 next March I will say goodbye to hair color.
Laurel Armstrong says:
Any suggestions for zipping up wardrobe colours when feeling ‘drabbed out’ by the grey/white hair colours Alyson? With pale skin tones and thinning grey/white hair and the Canadian winter landscape, I’d welcome some colour wardrobe additions to leave that ‘washed out’ look behind.
Hello Laurel, thanks for commenting – and leave it with me, this would make a good blog post!
Boadicea 
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I second the comments about following Alyson’s lead in letting my hair colour grow out towards grey. But I didn’t start this process until my mid-sixties because it wasn’t very grey. I now have the confidence to pursue this new look, with its whitish streaks and ombré brown bits. A sharp and shorter hairstyle is demanded however so one doesn’t just look messy.