Expert decluttering tips that will transform your home
Photo: Happy Inside
‘It’s increasingly clear to me that to maintain a sense of wellbeing and calm in today’s world we need to take decisive steps to cut out the overwhelm, whether from our phones, emails, news, noise or other people. And it needs to be happening inside our homes too,’ says design expert and self-confessed clutter-clearer Michelle Ogundehin. The writer, TV presenter and former Editor-in-Chief of Elle Decoration magazine is an authority on interiors, style and culture, and has recently released a book ‘Happy Inside: How to harness the power of home for health and happiness’ guiding readers on how to create a calmer, happier home.
Like many others, enforced time spent at home over the last couple of months has meant I’ve been sorting, tidying and doing the sort of jobs that usually end up on a to-do list that never gets completed (Mr TNMA is amazed!) Because we live in a flat with very little storage space and there’s nowhere to put the unwanted stuff until the charity shops reopen in June, I’ve held back on the serious decluttering. There’s a large carrier bag, tucked out of sight, in the corner of the spare room. And a list of other things that will be discarded as soon as our local Shelter opens its doors again. To me, decluttering is a continual process, one that started with a huge clear-out of furniture, clothes and stuff when we had built-in wardrobes fitted in the spare room. I regularly spend time reviewing and reconsidering what’s worth holding onto. As Michelle Ogundehin says, ‘Clutter is the arch-enemy of the restful home. It is the interiors equivalent of a to-do list that never gets completed, undermining any attempt at relaxation. Physical clutter equates to emotional debris, stifling energy and dampening enthusiasm.’
But what to do with those harder-to-let-go things? How do you cut through the clutter and work out what stays and what goes? ‘There’s a huge difference between your things and stuff’ says Michelle. ‘Things are the narrative of your life, your story. But stuff keeps you tethered to the ground when you’re aiming to take wing and soar. Stuff you can live without. So if you can’t be bothered to dust it, clean it, polish, oil or otherwise look after it, then you need to think deeply about whether to keep it.’
Here, Michelle Ogundehin shares her expert tips for all that harder-to-clear stuff:
Broken things you might mend one day: If it can’t be done right this minute with a needle and thread or a tube of Super Glue, recycle or throw it away. Especially if you have children. I say this because as a very sage friend once said to me on spying my neatly stacked ‘to-do-later’ pile shortly before I was due to give birth to my son, unless I tackled it straight away, it’d still be sitting there when he turned 18. I think I finally jettisoned the last of it when he was four.
Multiples: It’s okay to keep extras of things such as printer cartridges, plain paper, pens and paper clips, and essential to keep spare toilet rolls, cleaning solutions, kitchen towels, batteries, bulbs and matches. But do you really need four sets of salad servers? Or two for the price of one of almost anything? They may seem like great savings in the moment, but where will you put all those extras? Unless you have some lovely empty shelving in a garage or basement expressly for the purpose of stockpiling basic items, only buy according to the space you have available.
Anything you’re indifferent to: For example, if you dropped that fruit bowl and it broke, would you care? These are things you can definitely live without. Pass them on to someone who might genuinely appreciate them. This category also applies to things that no longer hold any fondness or relevance to you today: stamp albums, old school exercise books. Although be careful here: sometimes it’s better to consolidate these items; rather than keeping the whole lot, you pull out a few favourites and honour them accordingly, in a frame or a new smaller album, because at some point they meant something to you, and this is your history.
The practical but seldom used: An item bought because you felt you ought to, but which you either don’t use regularly enough to justify its existence or have lost the manual so you haven’t a clue how to operate it now anyway. Here things often fall into the but-I-might-need-it-one-day camp. To which I say, okay, then hang on to it for another year and if you still haven’t used it, get rid of it. After all, if it really came to it, you could probably borrow one through the ever-expanding sharing economy or buy a new one (and then sell it on), as newer models will inevitably exist by the time you might actually need said very specific item, and they’ll undoubtedly be far superior to whatever you have mouldering away in storage.
Anything that annoys you: That jug which always dribbles. A cup that’s hard to hold because the handle is too small. Placemats that can only be hand-washed because otherwise the colour runs, so they’re tricky to dry too. That figurine from a distant relative who hasn’t yet realised that you’re no longer six and not that madly into collecting china cats any more. We usually keep this stuff because it’s not broken and therefore we feel we cannot in good conscience discard it. You can. It annoys you. And you don’t need that in your life. Trust me, someone else will love it.
Gifts: Sometimes when gifts have been received we feel obliged to keep them because they’ve been beautifully crafted, we love the designer or we appreciate the sentiment. But would you have gone out and spent your own cash on them? If not, perhaps they need to be reconsidered.
Just-in-case items: You cannot live your life based on a wholly unquantifiable expectation of the future. It doesn’t exist yet, and when it comes, have faith that whatever happens, you’ll have everything you need to deal with it. In the meantime, perhaps you really could let go of the various just-in-case bits and bobs no doubt listed as ‘miscellaneous’ or ‘other’ on your inventory. Certainly you’ll be more prepared to deal with anything that might crop up if you’ve cleared your home to the point where you are able to be relaxed and happy inside it. And for those who say, ‘Oh, but what always happens is that I throw something away and the very next day I need it!’ Well, indeed that would be mildly annoying, but it is mere coincidence, not an excuse to not declutter.
Things kept in lofts: If you have one, when did you last go up there? If you’re an annual skier, and this is where you keep your kit, then fine, but anything else – old letters, paperwork, ancient baby toys? Pull it all down, and be ruthless in your sorting. Be honest with yourself: if you haven’t been up there in a year, none of this stuff adds value to your life. What I hope may occur, though, is that you unearth a few forgotten gems – perhaps a vintage tea set from your parents or a funny drawing you, or your child, did at school. If such things are found and they prompt fond memories, then consider them for use or display, don’t leave them unappreciated. Crucially, having clear space above your head, rather than the dead weight of forgotten possessions, will bring an incredibly powerful yet subconscious lightness to your being.
And a final note on ‘note sure’ items: If you still can’t quite bring yourself to part with whatever it is, then if you were to move house tomorrow, would you pay someone to wrap and box it for you? Tentative yes? Still keep. Basically, if you’re wobbling, I suggest you leave it precisely where it is. Forget that whole stick-it-in-a-box-and-put-it-to-one-side-for-six-months thing – you’ll just have an extra box in your way, for an unnecessary amount of time, assuming you even have a spare box conveniently to hand in the first place! Just leave whatever it is precisely where you found it. Every time you see it from now on, you will consciously re-evaluate it. And one day you might realise you can live without it, or not.
Michele Ogundehin
This extract is part of Happy Inside: How to Harness the Power of Home for Health and Happiness by Michelle Ogundehin
Want to hear even more home ideas? Listen to my podcast with Michelle Ogundehin HERE. More happier home books HERE.
Discussion (22 Comments)
Hi Karen, oh thanks I’ll have a look at that website. Michelle’s book is about more than decluttering, it covers health and happiness and how you feel in your home; contains quotes from Greek philosophers, Buddhist and Japanese traditions. It’s very Zen!
Maudie says:
Just received my Amazon copy of Tao Te Ching! Should give me pause to stop and reflect.
Kim says:
I can highly recommend Zen Habits by Leo Baubuta. He’s had quite an effect on my life for years now.
I also really enjoyed this article – succinct but communicated nicely so that it resonates with me. Thank you for this and the inspiration that it has brought me.
I agree with everything here and I too have 5 large bin sacks to take into the charity shop when they reopen. Having volunteered briefly in a Red Cross shop I know only too well that these shops have very limited storage space. Throw into the equation the possibility of having to ‘quarantine’ donations I am concerned that the charity shops will be overwhelmed with donations after lockdown. I don’t know the answer to this except the painful truth that we own and accumulate far too much. I am guilty of this and the truth does hurt me immensely and I hope I will have learnt a lesson not to hoard after all this Malarkey (understatement in extremis!).
Mrs Tonia says:
Good to see Michelle Ogundehin and her new book featured her.
Something I may get at a future date.
It’s a perpetual problem in our house having thrown things into storage without the editing needed when we left our family home of over twenty years to downsize. I moved three times and arrived with a limited set of clothes, books, kitchen ware and best furniture when we finally got to current home. Progressively things from storage have been moved in to reduce storage costs It’s been unpleasant to have extraneous things everywhere. Pre lockdown much was regularly donated or thrown out. That’s now halted. However I’ve uncovered things of value such as a lot of quality linen clothing, Liberty fabrics, art books I had forgotten I owned etc.
Reset to have much less much needed. Thanks for this post.Jacqueline says:
We put ‘stuff’ in storage when we drastically downsized from a large stone farmhouse in the North West to a tiny Victorian terrace in West Sussex. We stored because we had no idea when we moved out where we would be moving to. When the boxes were taken out of storage we realised that there was very little, if anything, we wanted to keep – except my cashmere sweaters and my teddy bear – that had both been devoured by moths! Since then I have been told that was not an uncommon experience in storage units and soft furnishings also get eaten. However ‘stuff’ builds up again and I’m back decluttering.
Anna Knowles says:
My name is Anna and I am a hoarder. Ask anyone who, like me, was born during the Second World War, and remembers those years of privation and shortages, and they will probably admit that they find it desperately hard to discard anything that ‘might come in handy’ because it usually did! I can still untie the most tangled piece of string for re-use; still save the wrappings on a pack of butter for greasing a pan; clearly remember helping my granny to unravel hole-y sweaters so the wool could be washed and re-used.
I have braced myself during Homestay to pack up stuff I no longer need – fortunately, I have a large garage so the boxes are out of sight. I hope, eventually, I will feel cleansed and purified – well, I do a bit, but there’s still a little nagging worry about getting rid of something that ‘might come in handy’.
Bonkers, I know, and I will buy Michelle’s book to restore balance and sanity. (Gorgeous looking woman, by the way, and love her top!)Boadicea says:
Oh, Anna, you’ve hit the nail bang on! Like you, I am still a hoarder of the ‘just in case’ school of thought. Even if going to a good cause throwing away stuff is a minefield of emotions: am I sure I won’t need it – ever? And sometimes I even wonder if it will go to a good home where it will be appreciated!
I too remember butter wrappings being used for greasing pans, and I especially remember both my Grandmother and mother actually saving gas by putting vegetables in a colander and placing it over the potato saucepan, followed by the lid on top. Not until I did cookery at high school did I realise that not everyone cooked veg and spuds that way! Then, newly married (and not that flush) a neighbour saw me getting dinner ready one day and remarked what a clever way that was to steam vegetables. Yes, I agreed, it was indeed a neat method of steaming veg – didn’t let on that really, I was trying to save gas!
When I first saw this I thought, “not another decluttering book.” Apologies. This looks like so much more! Eager to see it!
Joanna says:
I am a retired nurse. One of my patients who I cared for at home (he was 97) had a saying ‘it’s not about having what you want, it’s making the most of what you have’. I remember this every time I think I need to buy something. It makes me relook at what I already own and it really helps me decide how much I really need yet another item.
Oh that is lovely, and true. I’m going to encourage my menopausal brain to remember it, too.
Kim says:
My husband and I are the ying and yang of clutterdom- I love a good edit and feel energised by clearing space and keeping only the beautiful or useful, preferably both (along the lines of William Morris’ philosophy). My husband is traumatised by letting go of an 8 month old receipt/cinema ticket, marmite jars, magazines, clothes he hasn’t warn in 14 years,…..arghhhhhh. And yet we’ve made it through 11 years of marriage. He has a beautiful home and I have a lovely collection of elastic bands, string, wire, screw top glass jars……
Anne Murphy says:
Try de-cluttering what I have now decided to call my ‘studio’ . The old adage collecting art materials & actually doing art are 2 seperate hobbies!!! is so true. This morning I have moved everything out, gone through it, some to keep some to bin, some to charity….if they have room!! Not sure the book will help!
A former boss of mine travelled a lot on assignments spending two or three years here and there. As the company always paid for his accommodation wherever he happened to be, he kept most of his possessions in storage, as he didn’t need them. The warehouse in which his stuff was stored caught fire, and he and his wife lost everything. When I threw my hands up in horror, his reaction was merely a shrug of the shoulders and said, ‘It’s only stuff.’ His only regret was losing photographs of all the far-flung places he’d been. That sentence has resonated with me ever since. It is only stuff. So I look at something during a clear-out and really ask myself: do I need this ‘stuff’, will I miss it.
Elizabeth Green says:
I did enjoy reading this as I greatly admired her touch when she was editor of Elle decoration. I started off lockdown with all good intentions, did one room and got bored. We have way too much stuff, but I dare not mention the holy sanctuary of the garage which could do with the most decluttering so that I could put some boxes from the house there! However, I wish I hadn’t got rid of all my old t shirts. Looks like they would have come in useful for masks right now. I scratching around for spare fabric to make some. Do I need another book though…..hmmmm.
Sarah says:
If umming-and-ahhing, I always ask: ‘If I dropped dead tomorrow, would my kids thank me for keeping it.’ The answer is usually No.
Sally says:
I worked for a man who had incredible taste and plenty of money to buy anything and everything he wanted…which he did. While renovating his beautiful arts and crafts home he put everything in storage. After the house was finished he would go to the storage place and pick out one or two things a week so he could arrange things without being overwhelmed with everything at once.
One day he realized he hadn’t been to the storage in 5 years and didn’t miss a thing in there. Instead of going through it all and tempting himself, he hired someone to sell it all! Laughing he said he paid $100 a month for 5 years to store all that junk!
It was a great lesson for me to keep only what I truly love and need.Nicola says:
Another long time reader, first time commenter. And now subscriber. Love your writing and happy to support you, I wouldn’t work for free and wouldn’t expect you too! Keep doing your thing.
Hamera Asfa Malik-Wright says:
Best of luck Alyson. Already signed up. Love your site. It brings me a lot of pleasure. Really wonderful to have content that focuses on older women.
Maggie Alderson says:
Great piece and very handy, because I’ve just been commissioned to write a piece about decluttering. Thank you! And I will be signing up, I would miss your posts hugely xxx
[…] extract published on That’s Not My Age “the grown up guide to great style” edited by Alyson Walsh on 26 May. Plus book review […]
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Interesting to see Michelle Ogundehin writing a book on decluttering. When she was the Editor for Elle Decoration I was particularly inspired by an Editor’s Note she wrote at the beginning of one of the magazine editions back in 2016 (I think). It was all about decluttering/organising and she stated she had been inspired by the website Zen Habits…still in operation and worth a look too.