Let’s talk about the menopause (and all its symptoms)
All photos from Pexels
The conversation around menopause is getting louder. The recent Menopause in the Workplace report states that ’employers’ lack of support for menopausal symptoms is pushing highly skilled and experienced women out of work.’ The Womens and Equalities Committee is calling on the UK government to amend the Equality Act to include a duty for employers to support menopausal employees. They are also recommending menopause training for GPs and a visible public health campaign.
‘The omission of menopause as a protected characteristic under the Equality Act is no longer tenable, given that 51% of the population will experience menopause,’ said Caroline Nokes, chair of the committee, ‘ Menopause is inevitable. The steady haemorrhage of talented women from our workforce, however, is not. It is time that the government seizes the opportunity to enact change. It is time to support, and celebrate, these women.’
We all know about the familiar symptoms of menopause such as hot flushes and night sweats, but its effects are much more diverse than that…Those plummeting levels of oestrogen that come with menopause can affect almost all of your body’s systems, in some surprising ways. You may notice some symptoms and not realise that they could be connected to the big M. As well as the obvious link to the menstrual cycle and reproductive system, oestrogen affects the urinary tract, the heart and circulatory system, bones, breasts, skin, hair, mucous membranes, pelvic muscles and the brain. Pretty comprehensive, so it’s no wonder that the decline in oestrogen can knock us for six.
Some menopause symptoms
There’s no universally agreed list; estimates of the total number of symptoms can reach 40+. However, the average number that a woman experiences is… six, and quite possibly not all at the same time. Three-quarters of us have hot flushes (tick from me). Other common symptoms are night sweats (tick), difficulty sleeping (tick), irritability (big tick) and brain fog (no tick from me. Phew). The British Menopause Society says that a quarter of menopausal women describe symptoms as severe, and has a handy ‘find a menopause specialist’ search if that’s you.
More unusual menopause symptoms
You may experience issues that you wouldn’t connect with menopause. Take the sensation of ants crawling over or even beneath your skin (called formication after the Latin ‘formica’, meaning ants). Other skin complaints can include numbness, tingling or pins and needles, as well as more commonplace dryness and itchiness.
Aching joints can make you feel like your body is suddenly ageing. It’s caused by the drop in oestrogen which has an anti-inflammatory effect. Hips, knees, elbows and the back and neck can all be affected.
Forgetfulness is very frustrating and can give rise to alarming thoughts of early-onset dementia, but it’s important not to stress about it, as that makes trying to remember something harder. Take a breath, find another way to describe it and remember that other people rarely notice a pause as you speak. In time, the brain adapts to your lower oestrogen levels, and your memory improves.
Irritability may be the most common perimenopause symptom, affecting up to 70% of women. And feeling a bit miffed can suddenly escalate into anger, if not full-blown rage. This intensity of emotion can be a bit disturbing if you’re not used to it. It occurs because oestrogen has an important role in the production of serotonin, the feel-good hormone. As both of those hormones decline, you may find mood swings like this unpredictable and hard to handle, but at least there’s an explanation: you’re at the mercy of your hormones.
Managing stress, mindfulness and meditation can help keep you on more of an even keel, as can talking to a friend or colleague.
The hypothalamus can also cause increased sweat production which may cause body odour, or mean that you smell different. This is why perfume may no longer have the aroma you’ve grown to love. Good excuse to find a new one though.
Occasional dizzy spells and heart palpitations are caused by changes in the same systems responsible for hot flushes and night sweats, although they’re less common, and can be alarming if you’re not prepared.
And we’re all familiar with the idea of hot flushes, but menopause can bring on sudden chills too because menopause affects our brain’s temperature regulator, the hypothalamus. Some women also have chills following a hot flush as the body tries to regulate its temperature.
Tinnitus, or ringing in the ears, can be infuriating. Find self-help strategies from the British Tinnitus Society.
Saliva production is linked to oestrogen and its lack can cause a dry mouth or metallic taste, or burning mouth syndrome. See your GP, as a dry mouth can indicate other conditions, including diabetes, and there are specific treatments for burning mouth syndrome.
The standard advice of cutting down on stress, alcohol, spicy food and caffeine, stopping smoking, eating healthily and exercising can help with all of the above.
And the good news? We are in the middle of a menopause revolution. And with increased awareness, education and support from employers and GPs, the health and wellbeing of menopausal women will improve.
Adrienne Wyper is a health and lifestyle writer and regular TNMA contributor.
Discussion (29 Comments)
Sophia says:
Cindy, I came on here to say something along the lines of your comment – which is that I think it’s brilliant that we are discussing menopause more and supporting women who need it but I also think it’s important to share stories of women (me included *so far*) for whom it was relatively smooth to avoid giving the medical and psuedo-medical industry anymore ammo to convince women they always need to buy something or seek a medical remedy. I’m so happy medical remedies are available but I also feel like the conversation could easily tip into making women think that having a difficult menopause is a fact always requiring treatment when this may not be the case. Only because I know it’s a sensitive issue and these things can be misinterpreted, can I just emphasise how delighted I am that women are getting better information and more access to treatment if they need it. And how happy I am for everyone to make the decision best for them without judgement!
Thank you Cindy & Sophia – I completely agree with your comments. I think it’s important for women to hear that they may have minimal symptoms. Everyone’s menopause is different. We have a feature on this coming soon! And yes, there’s a lot of ‘meno marketing’ going on…
Allie Barnicoat says:
Hi Alyson – thanks so much for posting other views regarding the issue of menopause. I say this because I had minimal symptoms in spite of having a hysterectomy aged 50. I was put on HRT afterwards but it didn’t agree with me so I just got on with life. I guess I’ve been lucky.
Beverley Etherington says:
Can I point out that several other conditions can also be triggered by menopause, such as Sjogrens Syndrome which has almost all the same symptoms. I get a double whammy plus extra benefits (!) And after nearly 18 years I still suffer them. I had a breakdown and had to leave my teaching post because of it. I’m glad we are all raising awareness now.
Susanna says:
One of the things I love about That’s Not My Age is that it makes room for all sorts of women and respects all kinds of experience. I always learn something valuable from women who are different from me. My menopause was pretty average, but complicated by the fact that I developed an auto-immune disease at the same time, which kind of took my attention away from the hot flashes. Because I was juggling all kinds of new (lifetime) drugs, I chose not to do HRT on top of everything else, and got through it all finally. It’s odd to be in the place now (at 65) when I really can’t remember what it was like to have a period! Thanks for the open, honest, supportive forums about health topics, Alyson – so valuable.
Many thanks for such a calm, insightful and supportive article. I am particularly glad to see that some of the very strange and frankly allarming symptoms I struggled with for a long time with the menopause ( e.g. formication, tingling, dizziness) are listed here too ( alongside the more regular symptoms ). I had a Very difficult path through the menopause and was unable to find little information elsewhere about these less recognised symptoms. In my own personal experience some of the medical profession still relies on only a very narrow band of the more obvious symptoms of menopause and has little information to offer.
Yvonne says:
Agree with you about medical profession knowing practically nothing regarding menopause. It seems the case with a lot of topics related to women.
Elizabeth says:
This is such an interesting discussion. I certainly had the irritability from time to time, hot flushes and vaginal dryness, but apart from that I think I got off lightly. I did go with herbal medicine for a while, but it wasn’t helping and eventually, when we moved abroad I was very lucky to find an amazing French lady gynaecologist who helped me through a couple of years of HRT, which was the right thing for me. Low dose, careful monitoring. I remember reading a book by Germaine Greer years ago which had quite a lot of information about menopause, in it she stated that the body eventually finds a way back and things like hot flushes, dryness right themselves. Now in my 70’s I have to say I find that to be the case, as it has been throughout my late 50’s & 60’s too. I have enormous sympathy for anyone – some of you here – who are still suffering long after it seems right to do so. It’s a part of life and I know we all go through it, it seems so unfair that some suffer while others sail through, and yes, there really needs to be a change in GP training in the UK.
Hayley says:
I want to thank all who have written here for an already wide discussion. I cannot take HRT and worry that it has become a one size fits all fob off in the UK. In other countries, they tread with more caution.
I welcome the discussion to raise awareness and hopefully, eventually to engender tolerance and understanding instead of dismissal of a woman once she becomes 50.
It’s a fine line though – whilst HRT can work wonders for these awful symptoms, I worry that with so many women taking it primarily to extend their youthful appearance, ( I know several) we are letting all women down. As a blog which promotes growing older gracefully, I hope the menopause discussions can enable parity for ALL women, irrespective of how smooth their skin is, or the size of their tummies!
Thank you Alyson and all for such broad perspectives.
Ellen Tannenbaum says:
I cannot take HRT either, and had an early abrupt menopause due to chemotherapy in my mid 40’s. The rages were a shock to me and my family as I am normally pretty calm. Extreme hot flashes and other random symptoms. Looking back those 20 years, I am amazed we women have accepted that we just have to deal with it if we cannot or will not take HRT.. I suspect the generations coming after us are not going to be so quiet.
Thank you for raising this Adrienne. Like Cindy and Sophia, I’ve had a relatively easy menopause – sweats and chills, and irritability, but nothing that made me feel the need to medicate. I find the emphasis on taking HRT so pervasive – a recent TV programme hosted by Davina suggested in the first episode that we all need to be on HRT to keep us young looking and sexy. I find this patronising and unrealistic. I’m getting older and feel it’s much more valuable that we embrace these changes and look forward to the rest of our lives rather than looking back with longing. I switched off in disgust. Not sure if this is allowed, but my friend, Kate Codrington has recently written a book “Second Spring” about menopause, which is a great read, with lots of helpful information.
Mrs Tonia says:
I agree with many points made by Catherine and other comments above. When I was peri and menopausal I just put up with symptoms in silence. I would tamp my damp chest with a sheet in the middle of the night, carry a paper fan, strip off layers of clothing etc. But say nothing. I lived in a household with a relatively unsympathetic partner and two teenage boys. I didn’t have impossible symptoms, got advice on alternative treatments and a prescription for a cream to rub into thighs. I said little, managed and didn’t seek out HRT. My sister had early breast cancer which was successfully treated. At the time it was suggested that HRT could aggravate potential breast cancer. A thesis I think has subsequently been discredited.
Right or wrong I managed on my own and now feel and look far better as a post menopausal woman. I think I was lucky in this case.
AppleEverAfter says:
This is the best summary I’ve read of what you can experience while going through menopause, thank you! I wish it had existed 20 years ago when I started experiencing the perimenopause. The idea that GPs need menopause training is quite shocking, but absolutely necessary in my experience. Even women GPs, of whom I saw several during that period, didn’t seem to have much of a clue about how diverse symptoms and intensity of those symptoms can be, and just that nugget of info would have been so helpful.
In my case I knew more about menopause than most GP’s. It’s not a topic that is studied in medical schools, only a brief mention. GP’s need extensive training about menopause and women need to talk more about it so that it doesn’t remain a taboo subject like it has been for years.
Angie says:
Just a note of caution, or maybe common sense, with a bit of GP hassling?
I had menopausal symptoms (hot sweats, outbursts of rage, lack of sleep, tinnitus, itchiness, weak pelvic floor etc. etc.) all routinely and regularly dismissed by my (male) GP. The odd one was the ‘burning mouth’, like burning open sores, tingling and lack of taste all on one side, very odd. He thought nothing of it and gave me mouthwashes (extremely painful), paracetamol (yes, I know!) and after 4 years of me complaining and it getting worse, he gave in and booked me a visit to the Dental Hospital in Leeds. A young first-timer thought she ought to order a scan as she was mystified……long story short it was an acoustic neuroma, grown to such a size that surgery was the only option left. Brain surgery in other words. Ten years to live possibly
Please don’t ignore any of the so-called ‘normal’ symptoms of the menopause, investigate them all and get a GP on side to check that they really are to do with lowering oestrogen levels. That girl saved my life, I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for her diligence and curiosity to keep asking questions when something didn’t feel ‘right’
After all that the menopause seems quite bearable!Hilary says:
I understand that women in Japan did not suffer much from symptoms because their diet was heavy on fish,soya,tofu,vegetables,fermented foods etc etc although this is changing now that western food more common there.
I’m 74,did not have any hot flushes , night sweats or other symptoms. I took HRT for about 4 years mainly to keep my bones strong but I just take vitamin D now. The young female GP who prescribed my HRT said she would not give it to her cat (!)
I hope all the discussions about menopause in the workplace will not deter employers from taking on women in their forties and fifties. I was working in accountancy years ago when the maternity leave legislation came in and one of the partners told me he would interview young women but would not offer them a job…
Nomad 76 says:
Had my menopause 30 years ago aged 42………was offered HRT……told my GP I didn’t want it……his response was you can have a life with it or a life without it…….I said I’ll have a life without it…picked up my bag and walked out!!!!!
Glad to hear an article about menopause. I can’t believe that some women have minimal symptoms. I am in my mid-sixties and it’s hellish. I have practically all of the symptoms mentioned above and it’s been going on for years. My GP prescribed Gabapentin for my hot flashes and I found out that it’s addictive and causes weight gain even though he told me no when I asked him. He also told me that I couldn’t take HRT because of previous cancer. So much controversy regarding HRT. I did a lot of research and even HRT experts can’t agree on the matter. I can’t help but believe that it would be a different story if it was a men’s issue. I bet lots of research would have been done by now and it would been taken seriously. I am disgusted about the whole thing and presently I will start reading The Wisdom of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup. Hope to find some helpful advice besides wishing for cold weather LOL
Joan says:
When I was 49, recent M.A. , and started a new profession, I was having night sweats, hot flashes and yes, the irritability, and trouble sleeping. One day when I was with a group of psychiatric patients grabbing at items for our outing, the younger, female, assistant said “What’s the matter with you?” . That made me realize I needed to get some help with my symptoms in order to be able to cope. So I took the HRT the female M.D. prescribed.
After a few years and a relocation, my new M.D. made me aware of a long term study where HRT was
found to be dangerous to women…I think heart problems were found. She prescribed the minimum dose.
I was lucky I guessm and I took a minimum amount of HRT for about 15 years until I was able to retire. But my symptoms, especially hot flashes, lasted for years after that. I really really needed that job in order to have an income in my old age and was able to do so but without the HRT – ? Who knows what would have happened.Patricia says:
Thank you for this post and the great discussion in the comments. I’d like to recommend a book called The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter. She is a Canadian-born gynecologist who practices in the US and is very well regarded. I get her newsletter, The Vagenda, and there’s always interesting info in it about women’s health issues. I had a long peri-menopause (a full 10 years or more) with no real hot flashes but definitely some of the other symptoms – irritability (fun when your kids are in their teenage years!), brain fog, etc. I certainly don’t miss having periods, but I do wish that there had been a bit more info around at the time (not that long ago).
ClaireEB says:
I had an early menopause (it started when I was 38). I had just embarked on a university course as a mature student and although I didn’t really have hot flushes etc I felt incredibly tired and woolly headed. After trying to cope on my own I reluctantly tried HRT and felt as though I’d got my life back. No side effects, I just felt like me again and it was great. Eventually I had to stop taking it, although I still (now 63) take Vagifem for vaginal dryness which can be awful and can cause bleeding, irritation, urine infections etc etc. I’ve had quite a few invasive procedures as the bleeding rings alarm bells re cancer and each time it happens it has to be checked out. It’s never been anything serious, and while I’m very thankful that that’s the case, I would really like some advice on how to cope with this but none is ever forthcoming. I was advised to take more Vagifem but then when I need to renew my prescription I’m told I’m not due for more! Incredibly frustrating!
JenB says:
I too had an early menopause at 37 with extreme hot flushes and night sweats.
With a history of osteoporosis in the family I took HRT to support my bone strength, as well as dealing with the symptoms of menopause as I was the main breadwinner and had to work. After several years I felt I wanted to be me, rather than a person whose hormones were synthetic, so coming up to 50 I stopped taking HRT (with help from my super female doctor), By this time had been diagnosed with osteopenia., and later with osteoporosis.
At 52 I chose to work for myself so that I was more in control than working for an employer., and could have a better work/life balance.
Now in my early 60’s I have stopped working and am able to focus on getting and staying fit with lots of Pilates, walking and gardening.
I have made sure I get the best possible treatment for my osteoporosis by research and asking for referrals, paying for them if I need to.
Anyone who has, or feels they are at risk from osteoporosis will find the Royal Osteoporosis Society an immense help. I can’t recommend them highly enough. https://theros.org.uk
Alexandra Martella says:
Thank you for this discussion ~ so many things I am still learning as I go through menopause. I had no idea aching joints were a symptom. Does anyone have any recommendations for supplements for that symptom? glucosamine chondroitin?
Kathryn says:
I wish things had been different 15 years ago. I was a senior manager and had been with my company over 30 years and when I started to go through the menopause I’d no idea what was happening to me. My male boss, whom I hadn’t known for long, humiliated me by carrying out a return to work interview after I left the office one day at 11.15 am after suffering the most horrendous period of my life, I was in agony and nearly passed out with pain. I’d been at my desk since 7.30am and if I’d stayed until 12.15pm nothing would have happened. The female HR manager was appalling and she sided with my boss. 9 months later I was selected for redundancy. Please, if you’ve daughters and daughter in laws or younger sisters talk to them about what may happen and get them to know their rights. Things cannot change quick enough. There is a severe shortage of over 50’s women in the workplace, no wonder if my experience is common place.
Kate says:
It amazes me that such major changes of half the population are brushed aside and we woken are expected to just deal with it all gracefully . Can you imagine if the men had these symptoms? I’m now 51 and have been on HRT for a full year – have gained 10 lbs and if anything I feel I look more ragged , but that may be from a steady decline in my sleep over the years. Yes, the HRT stopped the awful night sweats and hot flashes but I’m not sure they are worth the risks as I still feel irritable and most days down right despondent! (My female physician ran tests to make sure I didn’t carry markers for cancers prior to prescribing). I’m due for my annual check up next month and I need my doctor to tweak things if possible. I’m so weary of feeling bad one way or the other.
There needs to be more discussion – loud discussion regarding Menopause. Thanks TNMA for providing this platform to do so.
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Thank you for this post. I live in Canada, am in my late 60’s, and didn’t have the challenges many women experience when going through menopause. I found it refreshing to read about different symptoms, and to suggest resources for women. I hope women get the help and support they need, wherever they live.