Going solo: why travelling by yourself is always a good idea
Photo: Alena Darmel for Pexels
Going on holiday by yourself is an opportunity to put yourself first; to take care of your own needs and wants. You don’t have to take anyone else’s opinions into account: what to do, where to go, how long to stay… anything! You have the freedom to go back to the hotel for a nap, breakfast in the same café every day, go on a really long detour to catch a glimpse of a painting you’ve always wanted to see, ignore a local must-see sightseeing spot because it doesn’t appeal to you…
My first solo trip, in my 20s, was walking near Malham in Yorkshire, staying in a youth hostel, and on my first morning I was terrified by the sound of a chainsaw in the woods. As a city-dweller, I associated it with horror films, not woodland management. Then as I passed the bloke wielding it… he gave me a friendly wave. My last trip was a few months after my dad died, in my 50s, when I felt a desperate need to focus on my loss. I booked three days in a smart split-level flat near Whitstable on the Kent coast.
In between I’ve taken myself off to Devon and Pembrokeshire, several European cities, a Greek island, and, while working in Tokyo, to Kyoto, Hiroshima, a tiny island, and Bali. My friend and former colleague Fiona has been ‘to or through’ 40 countries. She says she used to much prefer solo travel – the freedom, the challenges, the newness of the places and people, the mental space to just ‘be’ – but mostly because it gave her a lot of confidence, and educated her socially, culturally and politically about the world.
Photo: Marissa Grootes for Unsplash
Travel trend
More people are now choosing to go solo, with a 5% increase in the year to August 2023, according to Abta, and lots of them are women, according to travel trade statistics, with around two-thirds of escorted tour customers being female. And over-50s specialists Saga found women over-50 were twice as likely to want to travel alone than men.
After becoming anxious in recent years, with the worry of Covid and other age-related health issues, Fiona is heading off on her own again: currently learning Greek for a solo trip to Kefalonia and Athens. ‘I’m very glad to have got my travel mojo back post pandemic. I didn’t realise how much my sense of identity is linked to travelling solo.’
So what’s stopping you?
According to a 2020 survey, safety is the number-one concern for women, followed by spending time alone, getting lost, and the cost.
Personally, I’ve never felt in danger when on holiday alone (apart from descending an extremely steep hillside while lost in Greece, thinking ‘if I fell and broke my leg now, I’d be lying here for a long time…’), and I take the usual sensible precautions like avoiding dimly lit areas that feel dodgy.
When you’re in a new location, the simulation of being in a new environment overrides any potential feelings of loneliness, I’ve found. I do end up talking to people, and have spent whole days and evenings with new acquaintances. And with a smartphone, you’re never alone; it’s easy to stay in touch with friends and family back home.
Also thanks to the smartphone, getting lost is harder now – as long as you have a signal. If you have a guidebook and a map (folding paper or digital download) and can ask people, it rarely happens, although see above! Another time, in Japan, I couldn’t work out where I was, and ended up getting an extortionate taxi to my local station – 200 yards down the road!
And as for cost, it’s true that some tour operators and hotels charge a single supplement for not sharing a room, although, good news, this is changing. I have shared with a stranger once; we got on well and went for dinner together, then after a few days she went to do a diving course, and I had the place to myself.
Photo: Zeb Zakovics for Unsplash
One downside is that it can sometimes feel like hard work if you’re having to plan transport, book accommodation, navigate and deal with another language. But you can just take a quiet day at the earliest opportunity to balance the ‘work’ and leisure. And all that decision-making, problem-solving and being self-reliant is empowering.
Being on your own in a bar or restaurant can make you feel self-conscious, at least at first, but reading a book, writing a journal, planning tomorrow’s activities and doing whatever you want/need on your phone keeps you too busy to be bothered. And you can always enjoy some people-watching – and listening, without your own conversation drowning out those interesting snippets.
Memorable solo dining moments include chatting to the Greek waiter who kept bringing me more olives while watching a storm out at sea, lightning flashes illuminating the lilac sky; tucking into a vegetarian feast while watching Balinese dancers; walking past umpteen restaurants to find the one that appeals most – to me, not the compromise that suits the majority of the group. And sometimes I’ve just had beer and crisps watching TV in a hotel room.
First time
You could do a one- or two-nighter near where you live, so you’re not away for long, and there’s no foreign-language worries. Or join an organised group trip, where like-minded individuals travel together.
And now I’ve written this, I really, really want to go away by myself. Maybe later in the year…
Adrienne Wyper is a health and lifestyle writer and regular TNMA contributor.
If you’ve enjoyed reading this feature, please consider becoming a That’s Not My Age subscriber. Those who sign-up are supporting That’s Not My Age in its entirety. Every subscription is valuable for the future of this site and will go towards creating engaging content to inspire and empower women of all ages. Each feature is carefully researched and written by a professional journalist – and I pay all my contributors. More details of why this is important, together with all the membership benefits HERE.
Thank you so much. Your contribution is crucial.
Discussion (26 Comments)
PM says:
Solo traveller here – your story is accurate on all counts ! For me, if I’m truly lost I summon an Uber to take me to my hotel or a familiar landmark. Just knowing it’s an option has lowered my overall anxiety about wandering around new places
Pippa says:
I travelled a lot on my own as a younger woman, and I can’t tell you how empowering it was. I was not particularly confident in many way, but I found I was a lot more resourceful than I knew. I went up the Amazon on a river boat solo – it was amazing, and made me realise that there’s not much you can’t do with a smattering of the local language and an interest in people. I would thoroughly recommend it – people talk to you when you’re on your own in a way that just doesn’t happen if you’re 2 or more. You learn so much more about the local place and, well, the joys of people watching! It’s one of the things I’m looking forward to doing again now that my kids are leaving the nest.
Jane says:
Yes! Solo travel can be so empowering. My first trip was in my 20s, along the gorgeous SW coast of Ireland, on my bike. I discovered that navigating, route planning, bike maintenance and making friends with people on the way were all v doable and satisfying on my own. It felt amazing. I also love wandering round cities alone.. great not to have to consult another person and just meander! I highly recommend Paris for this.
Lastly, have a look at the FB group Host a Sister. It’s like couch surfing for women.. many many members around the world to connect with and possibly stay in their home and share their lives for a few nights (no money exchanged). We’ve hosted solo women, as well as two lovely mothers and daughters. Another woman – travelling from the NL to spend the weekend with a new man – asked if I could be her back-up if all went wrong.. I stayed in contact throughout the weekend (and all was fine!) .. an idea for anyone worried about safety on a solo trip?Rosemary Raughter says:
Travelled solo quite a bit usually to European cities, in my 50s and 60s, really enjoyed it snd no bad experiences. The only thing I didn’t like much was eating dinner alone (as Mrs Tonia above also implies) but I dealt with that by lunching well and having something light in my room or (weather permitting) as a picnic in the evening. Do it I say – it’s the best way of seeing and doing exactly what you want to, and there are always people – locals or ither tourists – to chat to if you want.
Tree Petts says:
I am 61 years old and have embraced back packing and hostels (private rooms with bathrooms ensuite). For my 60th birthday I went away for 3 months to Cambodia, Borneo and the Philippines. Then I spent a month last year back packing solo rough Thailand and in November I travelled solo around Colombia. I have to say I was a bit nervous about Colombia but as I dont need to go out at a night clubbing etc I never had any problems. I read lots of blogs before I went to Colombia so was aware of what was safe and what to avoid. I had a fantastic time and am often told by younger travellers that I am an inspiration. They see a woman in her 60’s travelling solo and they love it. I have not retired yet but I am compiling my list of places to go
Nicola says:
I’ve just flown from Australia (sometimes recently NZ) back to UK to visit family. When I was a young impetus woman I explored India for five weeks, Sicily for ten days, etc traveled to NZ but now as an older albeit wiser person think as I met a wonderful woman at the Heathrow Bus Station earlier this year there should be some informal code – green button? – travelling alone – layover is forever – would be lovely to have someone to chat to safely – about that’s not age and other subjects. I guarded the wonderful woman’s luggage and she bought me a coffee. Absolutely perfect! (I paid for my coffee before anyone gets antsy)
Yes to solo travel – even though I organize trips for women in very small groups. My favourite is eating alone – no phone, a book sometimes. And watching, listening, taking my time, dreaming, imagining what’s the life of the people around me. It’s better than reading a novel!
Maria Bremmers says:
Hotels etc charge by the room which makes solo travelling twice as expensive. Those that have a single room (at an inflated price) make sure it’s the worst room in their establishment quite often without any natural light. As you quite rightly say more older women are choosing to travel solo – so those offering accommodation need to shake themselves out of the old model and embrace a new one and offer attractive deals for solo older travellers.
Cheryl Koshuta says:
When I was 60 (ten years ago), I put my life in storage and took off to travel alone for a year without a home base. Three years later, I finally settled down again–in a new place with the confidence that I could make friends and a new life easily after my adventure. I encourage everyone to try traveling alone (for a weekend or a year, doesn’t matter). So many people seem to fear eating alone–my advice is to get your nose out of your cell phone or book and be open to the experience. Sit at the bar, watch the people, engage others, and savor your food/wine. For lodging, always get a place where you feel safe coming and going. Go on organized trips (great for solo travelers). You will likely be amazed at how much fun you have. I still travel extensively (with a partner and home base now), but never worry about being alone. There are more tips and stories about my three years of travel in my book Vagabond Moon.
Sarah Bristow says:
I agree about embracing the solo dining experience. During a 5 week solo trip round Italy I would scope out each new location with excitement choosing 1 fabulous restaurant for a truly memorable meal (the rest of the time filling up at lunch and snacking in the evenings). My tip: don’t choose somewhere full of tourists, find out where the locals eat – those places will usually want to showcase their hospitality. Also be patient – I was once embarrassingly moved from one table to another in a busy restaurant and instead of following my gut instinct and leaving I discovered I had been tucked discreetly into a private dining area to enjoy the live music! The stories of my solo dining highs and lows are some of my best memories of all my trips.
Mrs Tonia says:
Many good narratives here. Before pandemic my husband and I were on a business trip of his in Japan. Somewhere I always longed to go. Finally we were based in Kyoto. He boarded a train with Japanese colleagues for another town overnight. I bought a ticket for a day long tour to famous temples and gardens surrounding the city. A dream come true. It was Japanese language tour with earphones for other languages. Here was I a 60something English woman heading of to see wonderful places. An Australian woman with her hubby asked me how I could be brave enough to do this solo. Simple I replied. I’m here. I’ve got the time. Why would I waste the opportunity to go see wonderful places the one chance I had in my lifetime.
It was a day of incredible experiences and sites. Tour guide said be at bus in car park at a set time otherwise we leave you behind. At the final place I was weary and lagged behind from the group. Found a cafe sat quietly with an ice cream, green tea one and a cup of coffee. Wandered on scholars way. Found a boutique with antique kimonos. Bought a short jacket type. Boarded the bus to the city. Got metro from bus station to our hotel. Was alone there until the following afternoon. I experienced a sense of triumph. Unforgettable. And kimono still hangs in my wardrobe as souvenir.Christopher Robinson says:
Have travelled the world on my own visiting New Zealand, Canada, USA, Senegal, most of Europe. I have made additional trips as a solo traveller within organised travel or just with friends. Best part of solo travel is you basically get to choose the itinerary or pace of the holiday. Sometimes eating alone can be a bit of a downer but I normally find someone to chat to if that is what I want. This year, at the ripe old age of 76 I have solo trips to Zakynthos, staying in a family hotel I have previously visited, a second trip across Canada, visit to French friends in Brittany and Christmas in Belgium.
As long as I remain in good health there are still a host of places to holiday.Angie says:
So many brave adventures you have all had. I agree that just experiencing places on your own is life affirming and would encourage the fearful and timid readers to simply go somewhere nearby, just for a day, see what it feels like. I have travelled quite a bit but often find the little adventures close to home just as thrilling. If you are a bit worried, use your bus pass and go on a mini-tour all by yourself! I once sat on a bus from the depot all the way to the seaside and all the way back again, the views were fabulous, something you miss when you are driving. There are lots of quirky museums and galleries, tea shops and take-aways, markets and individual shops or scenic walks through towns and villages all within reach of your home. Once you get comfortable with travelling alone you’ll soon be thumbing through sightseeing tours, craft holidays and mini -cruises in no time!
Moth says:
Iit is easy to get spoiled traveling alone. Why did you bring such a big rollerbag? You don’t want to breakfast at the place with good bread (Isn’t that why we came here?) Okay, then can we eat seafood lunch? Constant negotiation.
Helen says:
I feel totally inspired by the wonderful experiences you all share. At 58 I have considered taking a solo holiday for some time. Although I have travelled alone it has been to meet and stay with family.
The thought of a solo holiday excites me, the freedom, the prospects, the adventures, new experiences.
So thank you for giving me the confidence to book something. I can’t wait? XDeborah Richards says:
For nearly four decades I’ve been a ‘carer’ for my blind husband. After losing his sight he had wanted to be ‘a blind person in the sighted world’. At the time we had a young family but as soon as it became possible, work, family and money permitting I had a ‘week away’ (sometimes more) when he stayed at home alone. My trips since, mainly art and culture guzzling in Europe and once to the US, and occasionally closer to home give us both confidence. I love my solo trips, re-charging my ‘self’ battery, eating alone, practicing my second language in German speaking Europe. Mooching about with total autonomy has enabled me but also him. He cooks (I do a big raw shop but no meal prep before I leave), I return to a clean house, laundry up to date and him pleased to have practiced his independence again (I’d have to cope if something happened to you) and pushed a few boundaries. My solo trips had to stop last year when he received a terminal cancer diagnosis. An NHS white rabbit means I’m off again next month, trialling confidence: closer to home this first time York and Edinburgh, he will have company to build back my confidence in leaving him then later in the year to Newlyn School of Art for four nights when we will both have total autonomy again. I agree solo travel can be more expensive, and should not always be, but for me it is enabling, hugely fun, outward looking and full of unexpected experiences . He knows I bring the world back to him refreshed and excited. It’s a privilege to be cherished. I’ve loved reading everyone’s replies and realised how enriching this solo travel has been on so many different counts. Top recommend: Berlin in June… Thank you….
Thank you Deborah for sharing your story. Best wishes going forward. Re Berlin I was there with time to spare when partner busy so I went on the Spree river on boat for one hour tour back to the Cathedral. German language only on this one but I followed where we were on my paper map on my lap. Couples were drinking on the boat, people were lounging on the grass on a warm evening as boat went past. Memorable to see the city this way and fun even doing so alone.
Boadicea says:
Oh boy, am I the odd one out here! Born without any trace of a sense-of-direction gene whatsoever, I would never dare – and my family would tie me down first – to venture into parts unknown on my own. If I am ever left husbandless then it’ll be a house-mouse life for me from then on. As someone very fortunate to have travelled well already, for which I am most grateful, I can see meself (sic) sitting in front of the fire, mob cap askew, mug of cocoa close by, leafing through photograph albums (remember those?) and sighing for the good old days…Ladies Who Travel Alone, I salute you! You girls!
carole b says:
I’m 65 and went to St Ives (Cornwall) for a week on my own a couple of weeks ago staying in a small cottage with amazing views of Porthmeor beach and the Island. The sense of freedom, as others have said, was amazing, especially following a difficult few months. Out of the major tourist season it’s a small and friendly town, albeit with world class beaches and galleries. I went to Outi Pieski @ the Tate four times, finally got to the Leach museum and gallery, walked some of the coastal path, enjoyed hake at Mackerel Sky (Newlyn) landed that morning by the chef’s father and found a wonderful bookshop in Penzance run by the Hypatia Trust selling women’s writing.
I’d recommend St Ives/Penzance as a good destination for the solo traveller, and self-catering accommodation, with all the flexibility it offers. Interestingly I feel much freer since I’ve come home, and it feels like some old and tired patterns my husband and I had drifted into are starting to shift.lizzie g says:
I have been travelling for work and for pleasure since the early 1980s, mostly alone. One advantage in our digital age is that i can share my whereabouts, or chat, or send pictures or videos to loved ones instantly, or from time to time. so i dont feel so much, ‘ah i wish xxx was here to see or share this’. And they can find lots of information online about where i am, what the weather is today etc, to virtually accompany me if they feel like it. Back in the day it was post cards, letters or a few very expensive phone calls. Of course there were good aspects to being off the grid, and its still an option now.
I love traveling with my husband but I would love to take a vacay by myself and have thought about it. Not because I don’t like vacationing with my husband, I do and he’s super fun, but I think a vacation by myself would be very therapeutic and great for the sole. It’s so important to take some breathing time for ourselves. Booking a trip soon to spend some quality time for myself.
Karen says:
I used to travel to the US and Europe for work, it gave me the confidence to travel for fun on my own, I found some lovely places and because I used local buses there was always someone to talk to. I think it’s absolutely right about your accommodation being in a place you feel safe coming and going from and it’s worth checking that out before you get there. There is nearly always a blog to give you advice..
Adrienne Wyper 
Leave a Reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Interesting article Adrienne. I’ve flown across continents on my own, stayed in hotel rooms on my own but always as a means to an end when meeting up with family members or friends.
The only time I chose to be quite alone was when I was about to have major reparative eye surgery ten years ago at Moorfields. I took myself off by Eurostar to Paris. Booked myself into my regular small hotel in familiar neighbourhood. Prebought museum tickets. Knew where to eat on my own. Took with me plastic plates and cutlery so I could shop in groceries and eat dinner in my room.
Most of this travelling was pre-Covid. I was a lot more scared to go off on my own after that more aware of things going wrong. Generally feeling more vulnerable.
A little of that especially in familiar settings where one can speak the language is fine. Making a plan for meeting up, sightseeing is key.