Newsletter

Making time to see old friends

— by Alyson Walsh

Elaine-holiday

Everyone needs a waggy-finger conversation now and then. I had one in Bulgaria last week, says Elaine Kingett. I’d gone for the peace and quiet and a few good dinners but what I got will benefit me far longer.

Now that I live alone and work from home too, most of my communication is by email, Whatsapp or Facebook. If my mobile rings, I’m astounded by the strange noise. I unplugged the landline a long time ago after one too many cold calls. Fleeting city meet-ups and neighbourly chats are all well and good, but with constant online connectivity, it’s easy to get caught up in your own little world and not see old friends for weeks on end. My kids know me well enough to not try to state the bleeding obvious anymore, although my daughter Lucy, 27, continues to try and educate me on life, from Spain, via Skype. I’ve also realised how much I used to talk to my dog, bizarrely it’s the first time in my life that I’ve lived without a cat or dog to harangue!

I’ve known Tim Clinch since the 70s and, as is the way of the world these days, we follow each other’s lives on Instagram. I hadn’t met up with him for over 13 years but his photos (he’s an award-winning travel and food photographer) kept enticing me to visit him in his village, in the bucolic countryside of Western Bulgaria. He’d done me a few favours professionally, introducing me to the people who run Finca Buenvino, my Spanish writing retreat venue, and helping Lucy build a website. Plus, he has a very nice dog. After all these years of long-distance friendship, I thought enough was enough – time to give him a hug and thank him in person.

Bulgaria_3425

We visited markets, we walked the dog, we stared at 16th century frescoes in dimly-lit monasteries, we drank lots of rakia and we had proper, tear-jerking conversations. Bouncing between my disaster relationships, starting up a business, cancer, heart attack and the revelation of solo living, I’d forgotten the benefit of a face-to-face conversation with an old friend, with the balls to be honest and the kindness to care, who really knows who you are. In the space of one lunchtime, over a rather delicious hotpot and cold Bulgarian beer, Tim reminded me just how lucky, and privileged, I really am. Forget the whining and worrying, the post-Brexit blues, dating nightmares, social media posing and the fear of how you’ll pay for that expensive nursing home once you really start losing it. The truth is that I am, and most of us are, doing a lot better than we let ourselves realise. I was grateful to have an old friend who could give me the wake-up call I needed, and that I had broken that online barrier to see him, in person.

Bulgaria_3475

Elaine is off on her summer adventure but will be running Write It Down! creative writing courses in Spain, this September. And here are some travel-inspired summer accessories:

Keep Reading

40 over 40: meet the women shaping the internet

Everyone needs a waggy-finger conversation now and then. I had one in Bulgaria last week, says Elaine Kingett.