Newsletter

Using Tinder when you’re not 20

— by Alyson Walsh

elaine-kingett

Photo: Dean Dorat

I’m on Tinder. It’s a dating app and it’s not just for sex anymore, so I’m assured but I really wouldn’t know; says Elaine Kingett. Quite a few young friends have met long term partners this way and yes, there are a lot of older men to swipe through. Though it does bring out the ghastly snob in me, sneering at dodgy interior furnishings. But I never expected it to be so boring. I joined with great trepidation, a couple of months ago and all I’ve seen naked so far is rather a lot of fish, in the arms of beaming men on river banks. There was the 58-year-old whose profile pic was his bum, ‘That’s nice dear, now put it away.’

3674

Photo: Guardian

I’ve put my real age, 67, and recent pics but it’s been a real non-event. I’ve had accusations of lying about my age and requests for REAL photos, I’ve had winks and leers from youngsters keen to teach me a thing or two – or visa versa – but precious little contact from possible new best friends and to be honest, some of the men look they’ve got no friends at all. One guy’s intro was a curt demand, ‘Call me,’ adding his phone number. Another explained he was just doing research for a play he was writing. One in Greece did offer to come over on his bike for a quickie but I was with my son and it seemed rather rude.

So, I’ve gone and got myself a dating coach. They’re going to help me write a winning profile and take an attention grabbing photo. The latter scares the pants off me but hopefully not literally, although the chance would be a fine thing. Then they’ll put me on a site that is appropriate to my likes and dislikes. Gordon Bennett, I doubt they have one that focuses on small hairy dogs, young people’s music and hot weather. I’m off to do my homework for them. More later.

Elaine Kingett runs writing workshops at Write It Down!

Keep Reading

Belts are back!

I’m on Tinder. It’s a dating app and it’s not just for sex anymore, so I’m assured but I really wouldn’t know; says Elaine Kingett.