How to wear off-the-shoulder when you’re older
Hope Fashion sweater
As most of us tend to be more covered up as we get older, it’s pleasing when fashion throws up an age-defying style that offers us a chic way to reveal some flesh and make the most of the latest erogenous zone. Off-the-shoulder tops are having an oh-so-democratic fashion moment and I for one will be showing some shoulder (just as soon as I sort out a new strapless bra). Sarah Rutson, vice-president of global buying at Net-a-Porter is another fan. “As someone who is themselves hurtling towards 50, I love off-the-shoulder,” she says. “It’s elegant and it doesn’t age. No one has bad shoulders.”
Dorrie Jacobson from Senior Style Bible
Dorrie Jacobson, 81, from Senior Style Bible agrees,’I personally love anything that flashes a bit of shoulder.’ Jacobson says the challenge, as the years pass, is ‘how to dress in an alluring way that is still subtle, tasteful and sophisticated’ and, for her, shoulders are the answer: ‘Regardless of age or body type, all women have gorgeous shoulders, and should flaunt them.’
Baukjen jersey Ashby top, available HERE
I’ve written about off-the-shoulder styles for the Guardian but my main tip is: don’t be fazed by fashion, or those silly you can/you can’t rules. Simply wear an off-the shoulder top like a regular shirt or sweater; with a pencil skirt, cropped and wide leg trousers or culottes. Add a pair of statement earrings and shimmy.
Tibi ivory crepe top, available HERE
Favourite off-the shoulder styles include Hope Fashion’s merino and cashmere sweater, Baukjen’s classic jersey Bardot style (available HERE), Tibi’s ivory crepe (available HERE) and navy broderie anglaise (available HERE).
Will you be showing some shoulder?
Discussion (36 Comments)
Patrish says:
My NECK is attached to my shoulders. Even if my shoulders were stellar, my neck is not. I agree with Lorna; not a good look.
A guideline for me is if it feels and looks like one is ‘trying too hard’ it becomes best left out.Fiona says:
I love a little off the shoulder however you hit the nail on the head. Strapless bra. Bain of my life!!
Jill says:
I’m sorry, but the thinking is a little askew on the off-the-shoulder style for mature women in their 50s and beyond. I disagree that it’s a flattering style for mature women, and although it draws attention, it’s seldom for the right or most desirable reasons. Those of us in this age range all know that during menopause particularly, skin texture changes and it creates a less flattering image with an off the shoulder style. It’s a beautiful style, but perhaps one about which we need to be more realistic .
I love off the shoulder tops I find them very flattering especially as I am pear shaped they help to widen the top half. I wore the Hope one in a post a few weeks ago.
Robin M. says:
I agree with Lorna and Patrish, Off the shoulder looks require a great neck and beautiful skin. If you have those two things, I say, ‘go for it.’ Realistically, I would say that probably only about 15% of women over 50 have a great neck and/or skin on their neck and shoulders.
Rebecca says:
Off the shoulder is all very well if you can get a bra to support your assets without making you look like you’ve got ten feet of chest and flattened boobs around your waist. I’ve tried for years to find a strapless bra for my ample bosom (30HH) that doesn’t make me look deformed, and since I can’t find one, and its painful to go without, I can’t wear off the shoulder items. Plus, as you get older, your neck skin goes crepey, as your other commenters say, and some ladies just aren’t comfortable with showing off that much flesh. I don’t want the ‘turkey whattle’ look either! And in the winter, its bloody freezing! Another great fashion idea that looks fantastic on a model and is useless in practice.
Patrish – your NECK comment made me laugh. I agree with Robin, this may not be a style that suits everyone but if it works for you – and it does work for Josephine (thank you for your the positive comment!), then why not? I’m going to give it a go.
Rebecca – I am rarely cold these days.
I love the idea of it, but think it works best on the smaller busted. I long ago gave up trying to find a strapless bra for a DDD cup that will stay up and actually support. Both women you’ve shown here look great!
Sweet Sue says:
I don’t get the women criticizing Dorrie; her neck and especially her jawline look pretty damn good.
Danielle korneliussen says:
I’m fascinated by all the different reactions to the off-the-shoulder look for women over 50. I’m thinking about all the vintage films from the 30’s, 40’s and beyond where we see VERY much older women wearing strapless ball gowns showing ample chest and neck. There are a fair amount of wrinkles, drooping bits and armpit creases that go along with this look, but I say… Do what makes you feel fabulous and if you own the look, then most folks will just be happy for your confidence. I think that those among us that are feeling a bit prickly about this look are probably questioning ideas and attitudes related to the evolution of an aging woman’s sexuality and how that may be expressed through a mere flash of a couple bare shoulders?
Kimberly Moraes says:
I was looking for an article related to off-the-shoulder looks for women 50+. I am 57, still have a pretty good neck and decent shoulders and decolletage. I love your response! I’m not going to listen to the judgey naysayers. I’m going to go for it.
Cat says:
Donna Karan noted the beauty of the shoulder back in the 80’s when she created her 7 Easy Pieces collection. The “cold shoulder” top has been a mainstay of her designs for decades for the very reason cited in Alyson’s first post – the shoulders don’t age!
LOVE the look, however……I’m fairly flat chested and still can’t find a bra that lifts the girls up to where they belong PLUS stays in place. I was truly hoping that was what the title of this post meant…you were going to share the source of the perfect strapless bra or possibly some tailoring techniques to add thin bra strap covering straps to otherwise off the shoulder tops. O well. Off the shoulder will remain a concept I love in theory but can’t seem to pull off in real life. Sigh.
Susan says:
I love the look on the first model. It takes confidence and composure to successfully wear off the shoulder pieces. My opinion. Also, not everyone ages well in all areas of the body. Ha! Some parts seem to be on a different aging schedule. All part of the process? Love this topic. As I age I learn more. Aging is a work in progress. Susan
Lynda says:
Wow! Dorrie’s neck looks amazing!! Her hands give her age away (probably pretty close to my age of 74) but her face and neck look 50s. If my neck looked like that I would definitely wear off shoulder tops. As a 36D top I find that Victoria Secret’s strapless bras work really well for me.
Olderbutwiser says:
Nope……just screams, trying waaaay too hard……and that is never a good luck fabulous skin, neck or whatever!!
Susan G. says:
I am sorry, but there is nothing alluring, subtle, tasteful or sophisticated about what Ms. Jacobson is wearing.
Woah, surprised to read some of these comments. I thought Dorrie Jacobson was Kathy Lette on first look – she has her energy and high watt smile. It’s not my style but I think she looks like she enjoys life and would be great to have a raucous night out with. I totally get the strapless bra thing – most infernally uncomfortable contraptions if you have any bust at all. I think ball gowns work it well with their inbuilt corsetry.
Gloria J. Pinsker says:
I would say that cold shoulder tops are a good alternative to completely off-the-shoulder. I think I would wear the former but maybe not the latter. Also solves the bra problem, as cold shoulder tops generally will hide the bra straps.
Penelope Malcolm says:
Of course women in their 50’s, 60’s and older are NOT going to look like a 20 something when wearing off-the-shoulder garments. They are not supposed to! Trying to compete with the 20 somethings is what is embarrassing. Feeling good about yourself and your body at ANY age is what makes a woman truly beautiful. Wear this style if you are comfortable, don’t wear it if you aren’t, but don’t judge those of us who don’t want to live inside the “box” that society wants to put us in just because we passed a certain milestone in life. I earned every one of these “wisdom lines”, and I am not ashamed to show them……tastefully of course:)
Tina Driscoll says:
Women are so shitty to each other. Just because someone can’t wear or can’t pull off a style doesn’t mean someone else can’t. Everyone is different.
Lorraine Buckle says:
I like your comment. As I have only just become in my 50s I’m 51. I’m trying to find a style that still looks a little sassy but not over do it. .and I do love the off the shoulder look so reading your comment makes me feel comfortable with that style .so thankyou .
WeaGirl says:
Enjoyed reading all of these posts because I am considering an off the shoulder dress for a summer wedding. I am 68. My neck and shoulders don’t look bad. IMHO So I will still think about it. Is interesting to hear different comments. We are all different and criticism is not becoming.
Over 70 says:
I have great shoulders and my neck is good too. I think off shoulder can be worn by older women on a one to one basis.
IHateWrinkles says:
I was looking for advice here too. I just turned 51. I certainly don’t feel my age and have tried to take care of my skin. I’m not quite ready for a kaftan yet. With so many off the shoulder an open shoulder looks still in stores, I was hoping I wouldn’t look like I was trying to “look younger” by wearing some. I still have young children, so I try to stay somewhat trendy. Think I will purchase a new one for another outing/concert. What’s the harm I guess?
Celesta Lampkins says:
It doesn’t matter what others think about how you look in off the shoulder tops, but its how you feel about the way you look. If you dress to impress others, they will define you; I choose to dress to impress me, because I define me. Define you!!
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Unfortunately Dorrie gives the lie to the statement that shoulders don’t age-not a good look