Sturdy clothes and staying calm in a pandemic
Photos: Claire Pepper
Everyday life has changed quite dramatically since my last blog post. And like many others, I am feeling quite fretful about the Coronavirus Pandemic. I live in London with Mr That’s Not My Age (a third of reported UK Coronavirus cases are here), my family are up north and in America. My older brother lives with my 86-year-old mum and despite health issues is still going out to work (in the food industry). My younger brother is self-isolating in New York after a recent trip to France. But we must try to carry on with the day-to-day and not slip into a Pandemic Panic. My friend the meditation and mindfulness expert and spiritual teacher Meredith Gunderson has written a post with advice on reducing anxiety during a global panic, this week. I thought it might be useful to share some of her thoughts on the matter:
‘Coronavirus is beyond our control but what we do have control over is our responses, our choices, our behaviour,’ says Meredith. As mindfulness meditation is part of her practise, she recommends the technique of labelling our thoughts. ‘Kierkegaard said, “Once you label me, you negate me,’ Meredith explains, ‘Label the anxiety. Like, “Oh, hello Coronavirus anxiety, you are here, yes that makes sense” and move on. You acknowledge anxiety is present and stop there – rather than reacting to it or being scared of it.’
Dipped hem detail
The mental health charity Mind recommends switching off the news and social media if it is making you feel anxious – and I have vastly reduced my Twitter consumption. The relentless Pandemic Panic was freaking me out. Instead I’m sticking to one news programme (Channel 4 News) on TV in the evening. As a northerner, I’ve been social distancing all my life, so I’m staying indoors but taking a good long walk with Mr That’s Not My Age every afternoon. Spending time outdoors feels like a luxury when other countries are in complete lockdown, I’m making the most of this as I suspect that we’ll be in a similar situation next week. While staying connected to family and friends has become another priority, I’ve spoken to my mum more in the last week than I have in the that 12 months. Now there’s an upside, Covid-19 improves communication….
In this period of readjustment and realignment, Meredith suggests that this ‘global disruption provides huge opportunities.’ That this is a chance to find our new normal and concentrate on the important stuff, including:
~ Caring for our communities as best we can, sharing (there’s enough to go around so no need to hoard), checking in with people, working together as we are hard-wired to do.
~ Having time to speak with loved ones near and far, having a natter, checking in.
~ Trusting in and celebrating our collective creativity and ingenuity to meet challenges.
~ Appreciating the crap out of our lives and the people that make our lives comfortable and secure. Big shout out to health workers, people who work at grocery stores, anyone who delivers anything.
And yes, we love our brilliant NHS and all its heroic staff more than ever.
Utility chic
With all this social distancing and ‘staying in time’ on our hands, rather than being consumed by Corona-panic we can be creative. Practise new outfit combinations, spend time sewing or making and I have a decluttering plan percolating. Plus, there are any number of brilliant box-sets to binge-watch. As Meredith points out, slowing down is one of the things we want to do more of anyway. We’ve just finished watching Detectorists on BBC4 with Mackenzie Crook and Toby Jones, there’s Sex Education (Gillian Anderson and her marvellous wardrobe), Better Call Saul and Money Heist on Netflix, and Secrets of the Museum on BBC2. And there are books to read. Mr That’s Not My Age has just started Hilary Mantel’s The Mirror & the Light and I have Kiley Reid’s ‘Such a Fun Age’ and Bernadine Evaristo’s Girl, Woman, Other lined up. Other books I’ve read over the last year and can recommend, include: An American Marriage by Tayari Jones, 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in this Strange World by Elif Shafak, Educated by Tara Westover, Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson, Olive, Again by Elizabeth Strout and The Falconer by Dana Czapnik. And if you haven’t listened to my podcast series, now might be a good time to tune in.
I hope you and your families are safe and well, and staying calm.
With love and best wishes,
Alyson
*Please note affiliate links in this post may generate a commission.
STYLE NOTES: On reading about my fondness for sturdy, utility clothes, John Lewis very kindly sent me some Kin clothing to test drive. The balloon trousers in neutral, the Japanese workwear jacket and the elliptical hem cardigan (it’s a much nicer colour than it looks on the website). The hi-tops are my own Good News and are made from organic cotton and recycled rubber. Somehow utility dressing feels right just now.
Read Meredith Gunderson’s blog HERE. More advice on how to protect your mental health during the Coronavirus Pandemic HERE.
Discussion (46 Comments)
Thank you Alyson, I made the mistake of watching the 10 pm news on Monday, I spent most of Tuesday on the verge of tears, it totally triggered my anxiety, so no more watching news for me. On the upside I’m making time to contact friends and family more which feels good and something to continue when this all ends. I kind of wish they would put us in lock down as this limbo is very unnerving and I think partly fuelling the panic buying as people don’t know what else to do. Stay safe and we will make it through this.
I saw the 10pm news on Monday – Paris, Milan, Madrid all on total lockdown with no-one allowed out. It was very disconcerting/dystopian. And I agree with you Claire, being in limbo is hideous. I think it’s making everyone panic. And lots of people are carrying on as normal: the shops and cafes are really busy round here – you can’t blame small businesses for staying open (trying to survive this global crisis) but a firmer directive from the government is needed.
Nicola says:
I completely agree Alyson. I’ve been saying for days that a lot of anxiety is due to lack of leadership. I’m in Australia and our PM is flip flopping all over the place. We are supposed to be socially distancing but the police had to close Bondi Beach this morning due to overcrowding. I think I would feel better if we went into complete lockdown because unfortunately some people won’t do the right thing unless compelled to do so.
Did you love The Detectorists? We’ve now watched all the seasons. At first we just stared at it open-mouthed, waiting for something to happen. But then the slow pace and gentle quirkiness grew on us, and then we were addicted. These days it’s all about gentle reading and viewing. And watching the geese swim by on river in front of our house. And breathing.
I felt the same about Detectorists – it took me a while to adjust to the gentle pace and peculiar metal-detecting scene (!) but then I really enjoyed it.
Sarah Stubbs says:
Great post Alyson, thank you so much. Definitely doing the same here, more baking and de-cluttering and enjoying a walk each day and trying to keep the anxiety in check. Take care, Sarah
Jan says:
I was running errands for neighbours this morning and it struck how heroic people working in shops are. They are not exactly overpaid and are subject to difficult people all the time plus they aren’t provided with protective clothing against the virus or other infection sources. Everywhere I went today, from major supermarkets to small local shops, the staff were helpful and smiling. Definitely key workers in my book.
Mrs Tonia says:
Much to agree with here. And I am with you on the walks in open spaces looking as the fresh foliage unfolds, the blossom and clumps of daffodils still near me. That’s a walking meditation combined with forest bathing. On the plus side the true start of spring is this weekend and next the clocks change giving longer lighter days.
Many books I’ve acquired I can finally read : Handmaiden’s Tale and the Testaments. The first Olive novel, Educated, Bernadine Evaristo’s Girl, Woman, Other already in the house. And there are so many art catalogues and books to revisit. My whole shelf of Picasso books : paintings, sculptures, ceramics acquired over many many years. I was fortunate to see the now closed huge but wonderful Picasso works on paper at the Royal Academy which stimulated me to revisit his work. Etc etc. After the new Kimono : Kyoto to Catwalk at the V and A, again now closed I looked at all my books on Japanese design and fashion designers and catalogue of a Paris Asian art museum Kimono show a few years ago which I attended. For me Art is the Guaranty of Sanity, as the late, great French artist Louise Bourgeois wrote and maybe embroidered. Even without actual attendance the books and their illustrations will sustain me.
Thanks for the meditation advice and links. I just started going to a meditation class at my yoga studio. After fitting in two classes thankfully this week its doors shut yesterday at noon. Years of a regular practice and possession of mat and blocks mean I can continue to do yoga either indoors or outside when weather brightens. Also the breathing exercises can allay anxiety when one does them lying on floor or in bed. It really does help to send one back to sleep.I join Alyson in sending my best wishes to all those TNMA readers out there concerning about their elderly relatives or their own well being. I’m on the cusp of the danger zone and will need to sequester myself. There is still connection via texts, emails, Skype, messaging not to mention the good old telephone. And let’s not forget snail mail. A friend is going through real healthy difficulties before this even unfolded. My communication now is through cheerful looking cards with handwritten greetings. Just to show one cares.
And Alyson I wish you and relatives up north the best too.Claire B says:
A helpful and very calming post, thank you. I agree with everything that’s been said, it’s hard to keep the anxiety in check and hard not to watch the news when everything is changing so quickly. And I totally agree that shop workers deserve enormous praise, they’re front line workers as far as I’m concerned, and putting themselves at risk of infection.
Both my parents and my step mother are in care homes, one of which is now closed to visitors, the other will be closing soon. I wonder if I’ll see any of them again. I’ve been waking up at around 4 am, getting up to go to the loo and then struggling to get back to sleep. On the plus side at that time the dawn chorus in the trees outside our house is a wonderful reminder that life goes on, almost worth getting up at that time to hear it!Debs Chowney says:
I’d add The Marvelous Mrs Maisel to the list, with even the Hubster commenting how good it was. Give it two episodes to establish itself and then enjoy.
Paula c. says:
Love this show! So sad to have to wait for the next series (no..4) to come back on to amazon. Enjoying the Narcos series as well which is an entirely different atmosphere to Mrs Maisel.
Can I also recommend Succession series one and two on Amazon. Very engrossing programme about a vicious rich family a bit like Rupert Murdoch but with overtones of King Lear and his children also.
Rosemary says:
Hi Alyson,
Over here in deepest Brittany, we are, as you mentioned, already in lock down. It’s called ‘confinement’ here.
After 4 days, things seem to be slowly sorting themselves out although many questions are still unanswered.
It’s true that a phone call to family, friends, neighbours who may be alone etc, is becoming the favourite way of communication. So nice to hear a voice instead of just a screen.
Take care everyone, there are hard times ahead but how lucky we are to be able to read Alyson’s great blog and read each others thoughts and comments. Thank you, Alyson, please keep up the good work.
RosemaryRebecca Howard says:
Fretful. Good word. I like it. I too feel fretful. Covers so much more than anxious.
maudie says:
Thanks for your lovely words and inspiration. I, too, am enjoying The Great Outside as much as I can for the available time that we are allowed to do so. Glimmers of sunshine, buds on plants, daffodils the lot! The weather is grim, but that doesn’t seem to matter too much at the moment with everything else going on. It is quite liberating to plonk any old clothes on in the morning, ditch the makeup (the little I wear) and stop being materialistic and ungrateful and appreciate what we do actually have. I am getting more inventive with food as it is impossible to find much in the supermarket ‘scrums’ and, like you, social distancing isn’t too much of a problem for my relatively anti-social self. My daughter and grandchildren are in Cornwall and I am in London so we face time every day. As I am apparently classed as a vulnerable person I have an excuse to hide away! I wish everyone TNMA’s and the rest of the globe all my very best for the coming months.
Sascha Stokes says:
I agree that sturdy utility feels very now. Imagine frilly fluff during a crisis. It wouldn’t be right. Your outfit is the 21st century version of the 1940s Siren Suit. Love it!
Jacqueline says:
C4 news- I am not aware of any other news programme? 7pm news allows you to watch and then switch into something to settle you down before bedtime.
No problem with being an older person but hate being classed as ‘elderly’.I’m a big fan too. I record it and then watch the bits I want to see and hear a bit later on fast forward.
I have also been watching CNN especially Christiane Amanpour. It’s on at 18:00. Also online.
Like others I went a bit overboard on news at the start of this week but have dialled it back.
Bought stamps and discounted Easter cards in Oxfam so that I can write by hand to friends and family. This may come back into fashion.
Jane Royce says:
A lovely post and enjoying the comments as well (as ever). I have to keep following the news closely as that’s my job – and it definitely fuels anxiety and negative thoughts, especially when one is trying to sleep.
Like Claire (above – hope I’ve got your name right!) my mum’s in a nursing home , at the very end of her life, and the doors have just closed to visitors, which is agonising.
Am trying to enjoy small pleasures, including phone and email contact with friends. Will be resurrecting my sourdough baking (that’s the plan anyway). For cheerful and comforting box set binging, I recommend Schitts Creek on Netflix. A beautiful and heartwarming comedy about love and acceptance.I’m so pleased you found my blog useful Alyson and I hope it helps others. It’s so important to not make ourselves wrong for feeling fretful or to be scared of feeling wobbly. It makes a lot of sense for those emotions to arise right now. Staying in the present moment rather than the future is also KEY. Wishing everyone well.
Charity Girl says:
Hi
I’m a clerical worker in a hospital. We are ‘KEEPING CALM AND CARRYING ON’ We have a Radiology pandemic plan already in place and we are prepared and all working together.Today is a beautiful day, the sun is shining the buds are coming out, the birds are singing, and I have a little robbin who pops in and out of the ivy, so hopefully a big fat baby Robin will appear very soon. Mealworms are put out everyday and it is an absolute joy to watch before I come to work.
So if anyone can go out for a walk and listen to the birds look at the trees please do, I guarantee you will feel less anxious.
Love to all.
Philippa says:
My comment is about colour rather than mental health – even though that’s my field of study! The back shot of your hair against the colour of the cardigan is perfect. They blend really beautifully together Alyson.
AVC says:
Alison, what a lovely post.
There is something about steady footwear that calms me down!
We are in complete isolation here in Wales, ahead of what I think should more directed shutdown. Children in London, self isolating currently, sister in a care home with all that means.
Keeping a journal to let my fears out and planning sewing and general rummaging . With steady shoes to ground me.
Best wishes to all.
AVCIsobel says:
Love that gorgeous, rich toffee colour…it really suits you, Alyson. Fab clothes!
Not having to stay inside as yet in Tasmania, but it won’t bother me too much if it comes to that. I am concerned for friends who are older and with chronic health problems, so I’m still happy to continue volunteering at my big local op-shop because many have had to stay away for the time being. Still able to go for walks along the rivulet to watch the ducks and native hens. And I have a stack of DVDs on hand, just in case.
Feeling very lucky so far, touch wood!
Stay safe everyone. Much love xxxCassandra says:
Ladies, if you sew, US hospitals are critically short of masks. Medical personnel are putting their lives at risk for us and shamefully without basic protections. Seamstresses can help: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tjmccue/2020/03/20/calling-all-people-who-sew-and-make-you-can-help-solve-2020-n95-type-mask-shortage/
Alyson, thank you for the soothing commentary. And for the viewing suggestions. And the book suggestions.
It’s almost 10 am and the little canine needs a walk.What a luxury a walk is now!
SW
Linda Nelson says:
Love your blogs. We are from the north of England. My husband has cancer and very vulnerable but we are still getting out in the fresh air with our dog.
I love sewing, knitting and altering clothes that don’t fit and have quite a few projects to start as we go into lockdown. Take care and looking forward to your next blog.
Martine Large says:
That jumper is gorgeous and the colour really suits you. Thanks for the wise words. Like many people, I’ve had a coronovirus meltdown, and no doubt will again. I’m sad to cancel my mum’s mother’s day lunch, dinner with friends and a trip to the Picasso exhibition. But so many people are offering music and art online to see us through our isolation. I’ve just read Katherine May’s wonderful Wintering, about the times when nature, or people, go inwards to replenish. Perhaps we’ll emerge from this with ideas and determination to live in a more sustainable way.
Goddessinthedetails says:
Can also recommend Giri/Haji on BBC iPlayer. One of the most innovative tv series I’ve ever seen (including animation and interpretative dance!), it follows a Japanese detective who comes to London to track down his gangster brother. The ever reliable Kelly MacDonald is the British lead. In Rodney, it depicts one of the most complex, flawed, sympathetic, adorable characters I’ve ever seen in a popular series.
I recorded this series but haven’t watched it yet. Now with your recommendation I shall definitely watch it. Thanks.
Hi Alyson,
I listed to your podcast with Dame Zandra. I enjoyed it very much. Now I have a series of great listens courtesy of you.Jan says:
A note of laughter…a friend on the way home last week flew into Chicago. Thinking she would get a drink at the bar she sat down before a bartender who tells her the previous patron, also a woman and concerned about the virus had just wiped down the bar with a Vagisil wipe…
It’s so nice that you have a friend that can share mindful tips. I like your sentiment about “appreciating the crap out of our lives.” I bought extra fabric recently for sewing projects.
Patricia Webber says:
Loved the cardigan Alyson, just what I was looking for,allotment chic. I popped into my favourite market stall to buy broad bean and leek plants for potting on over the weekend and went into our local JL,there it was and vastly reduced. Thank you from a warm and stylish gardener.
Allotment chic is a great look. It reminds me of a Jo Malone ad from a couple of years ago,possibly Herb Garden, featuring an older model in great garden outfit, a green aran knit cardigan,silk scarf and bow necked blouse and lots of jewellery. Alys Fowler, the gardener and writer also has great style when gardening.
btw, I meantioned my new plants last weekend, I almost lost the broadbeans when the temperature dropped earlier this week. They survived, so grateful for the small things.
Helen Liaudin says:
Thank you Alyson – I have been so worried, it was lovely to read your post. These times truly bring out the best and worst in human beings. Thank heavens for our wonderful NHS and its staff.
Cara 
Cat 
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Thanks for such a helpful and real post.