There’s nothing wrong with comfy clothes
Everyone wears sneakers now. Photos: Claire Pepper
Comfy shouldn’t be a dirty word. But in fashion it can be viewed as a bit of a put-down, a derogatory label. Comfy clothes are reserved for children and old people; the relaxed aesthetic worn by middle-aged women referred to as Menocore (‘Picture a 50-something-year-old woman who doesn’t care what other people think and just wants to be supremely comfortable.’ Thank you, Man Repeller). Why can’t we revel in the pressure of a no-stress, faff-free outfit? There’s nothing wrong with the concept of comfy – of feeling good in a particular outfit, of dressing to please yourself, who doesn’t want that? Comfy clothing needs a re-brand.
The older I get, the less inclined I am to put up with garments high on Faff Factor. Finding clothes that fit well is almost an obsession. I am acutely aware of armpit-bothering jackets and up yer bum pants. The neckline of a round-necked top or t-shirt has to be an optimum shape. Not cut too high, or too low. ‘Being comfortable is the most important thing,’ Iris Apfel told me over the phone when I interviewed her for my first book, Style Forever, ‘and I don’t mean slobby!’ Apfel is the ultimate maximalist but underneath the baubles and bangles lies a tunic over trousers, a simple canvas. The nonagenarian New Yorker has a singular look. Apfel has created an image that feels good and works for her. She knows her style.
Scrumptious corduroy
My feel-good clothes – a cool coat or blazer, a jumpsuit, a pair of trainers – are the not-so-basic-basics I comeback to again and again. I can put them on and go about my daily business, no bother. Much like the Ready Brek-effect, feeling comfortable in your clothes provides a perma-hygge glow of all-day confidence. Texture has a part to play. Cashmere is top of the comfy scale. Corduroy is scrumptious. There’s a joy to a weighty silk crepe that hangs just right. Ditto a good quality cotton-stretch jersey, a magnificent plush velvet and super-soft, washed and worn-in denim. The way we work today: remotely, part-time, from home, in several places throughout the week, has impacted on the way we dress. Everyone wears sneakers and activewear now. This blend of casual and formal has become the new normal.
Feel-good clothes
This winter, I’ve replaced the cargo pants with slouchy jumbo cords (a thank you gift from Kate Sheridan), and I’m constantly trying to figure out new ways to layer-up my cardi and make my old clothes feel new again. Feeling comfortable means feeling relaxed not constricted, confident not self-conscious.
Oh and it’s not about age, it’s about style.
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Discussion (40 Comments)
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maudie says:
Comfy clothes are essential. Soft, soft clothes that don’t aggravate your skin, not too tight to irritate, lovely corduroy, baby soft cashmere, organic cotton………………….. As a fibromyalgia sufferer any labels in clothing get hacked out immediately (allodynia) and clothing has to ‘feel’ right or I just don’t wear it. Any clothing that is a bit too small will never be comfortable, waistbands that cut in are dreadful. Denim is a tricky one – jeans have to be nearly worn out to be perfect and so much denim has that ‘funny’ smell and texture until it is washed at least 20 times. Don’t get me on to footwear………………………..!
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Debbie Anderson says:
I love pinwale corduroy. I have a few shirts I bought on eBay I adore. Can’t wear scratchy polyester anymore, that doesn’t breathe. I’m often drawn back to my corduroy.. and jeans washed many times so they are soft. I’m confused by length of jeans. I’m 5’10”. Is ankle length still okay?
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Mrs Tonia says:
Yes to the khaki coats, comfy knitwear and navy cords, which look both good and practical. I got myself a pair of jumbo cord culottes, or wide-leg crops, very similar to those you are wearing here and wear with high necked coordinated knitwear, and boots. We have all moved away from constricting clothing for everyday. As you describe a neckline of a t-shirt or poloneck needs to be just so, with the right amount of neck uncovered or covered up for warmth. For me silver jewellery, bracelets, necklaces and rings rather than earrings smartens up and makes these basic garments more personal. And silk patterned scarves tucked into the necklines adds a dash of colour and warmth.
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Isobel says:
Scrumptious is the word! Could this be my favourite outfit on you ever, Alyson? The colours, the cords, the cardi, the COMFORT!
Also keen to check out a number of the pieces you’ve selected below. Almost everything would fit nicely with my wardrobe or is there already. And yes, I feel most confident when I’m both stylish (in my mind!) and comfy.-
Rozzy says:
I agree, Isobel. Alyson’s ‘look’ in this post is just what I love; stylish & a bit funky and probably comfortable too! I have discovered NRBY through Alyson, their jumpsuit was worn endlessly until linen got too chilly; I suppose I could have worn thermals underneath! In my job as a florist I don’t need smart workwear but still feel more confident & happier if I love what I’m wearing & Alyson inspires me.
At 58 though, middle aged spread is a problem….I am trying to be disciplined with the 5:2 diet which suits me, but those extra pounds go on so easily. Please could we have a post on this….
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Good News – I’ve ordered the Bagger navy sneakers online! First ever online purchase, so wish me luck! They’re exactly what I’ve been looking for, a change from the usual Converse, and sustainable. I was lucky to grab them in my size while still available, in fact. I know they’re coming all the way from England to Australia, but, guess what? The fact that they’re a London brand is exciting for me because I was born in London, and they’re being shipped from East Sussex, where I spent my early years before coming to Australia!!!
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Excellent. It was meant to be. I bought some Good News sneakers in the sale last summer and they are super comfy (much better than Converse) and sustainable, too. Win-win.
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Got them, LOVE them!! Would never have come across them if it hadn’t been for this post, Alyson, and I can’t believe what a great price they were and how lucky I was to not miss out. Thankyou!
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Holly says:
And from the other side of the world, in our sunburnt, bushfire-burnt country, comfort means cotton jersey that is lightweight but holds its shape reasonably well, both woven and knit linen, fluttery silk or silk-cotton blends. Necklines wide enough to allow the heat to escape, but not so wide that you don’t dare lean forward (unless you’re braver than I, for which I salute you). In recent years, cropped trousers have increasingly given way to soft wide-legged ones that allow for movement. Floaty tunics and dresses, or loose shirt-type ones. In the beachside suburb where I live, almost no women of any age wear high heels. Comfort rules, and creates its own beauty.
And thanks for confirming that I wasn’t being overly sensitive in my reaction to the term ‘menocore’, which sets my teeth on edge.
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MaureenC says:
Menocore?!! Crikey, I never cease to be taken aback by how acceptable it is in the media to despise older women. An encouraging number of contemporary young women are opting for clothes that are both stylish and comfortable. However rather bizarrely in the second decade of the twenty first century it’s still the norm for women to be uncomfortable in their clothes – working in uncomfortable heels, underwear resembling the outpourings of a Victorian corset maker (and Lycra only makes a bit of difference), sweaty tights, waist to hip ratios on skirts that assume we are all wearing corsets etc. etc..
I feel sad when I see older women who have opted for the lilac cardigan and grey stretchy trousers as though that’s the only alternative to the discomfort of a younger style but until recently there haven’t been any role models to show it can be different. Thank you Alyson and the small number of mature bloggers providing that inspiration. -
Maisie says:
I’m with you all the way on this one, Alyson. Yes to clothes with ease of movement, in yummy fabrics like cashmere ( how I love it ! ) And no to restricting waistbands ( why can’t they make tights with soft ,forgiving elastic ? ) no scratchy labels, no annoying collars etc etc.
And don’t get me started on bras, I don’t possess one that is really comfortable. How about that post on underthings that you promised us a while back ?-
Oh yes. Haven’t forgotten about that, Maisie. It’s on the (very long) list!
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Joyce Morris says:
Snag tights are soooooo comfy Maisie. I loathe tights, but can wear these without knowing they are on. Good colour choice too.
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Ana says:
I have searched them on the internet and they look fantastic and very comfortable! Thank you for the advise
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Barbara says:
Maisie, maybe you want to have a look on sloggi.uk
Their line “Zero feel” includes Bras w/o wire and bralettes. They are so comfortable, you just don’t feel that you wear a Bra.
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Anna K. says:
Comfort, as you say, Alyson, is absolutely essential to well-being; and for me, a perfect fit and quality fabric rather than designer labels and logos are my criteria. I don’t know who said, ‘Luxury is a private pleasure’ but he/she was spot on. If things feel right, chances are you’ll look relaxed and confident, instead of uptight and worried by chafing, constricting, uncomfortable clothes.
And you are looking fabulous – especially love the coat!
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Excellent post Alyson; as far as men are concerned, I still don’t understand how they can bear wearing a suit and a tie.
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Sara says:
Agree wholeheartedly with you, Alyson, and so many of the comments. For me comfy = feelgood which also for me means it’s what I feel good wearing. I gave up the uncomfortable clothing way back but I do love style, so it’s about getting my version of my style . If I enjoy wearing it, it’s comfy! Like most now, it’s far more relaxed than it used to be but I think style can still be achieved without formal tailoring.
I LOVE that coat; it is so stylish and absolutely suits you. You always seem to have so much success in finding your khaki malarkey; an entire column on this perhaps? For me, cargo with all those pockets on the legs is just not comfy and so often, it’s all I can find in that lovely suit-all colour. I shall continue the search.
Menocore?? Think I am pleased I do not even bother with the posts/ columns/articles where such pathetic insults appear. None of those who perpetuate such drivel could match somebody like Iris Apfel in a month of Sundays. -
Toomanyshoes says:
Lovely outfit and I’m a big fan of being comfortable., wearing Toast as I write, but for goodness sake “menocore” is an unpleasant and insulting label that invites sneering. I read the linked article with increasing annoyance and can’t believe the author, as a female, thought it was acceptable to describe a style of dressing , chosen by women of all ages, in terms of a women’s perceived reproductive status. I’m surprised you didn’t call that one out Alyson. What next , maybe “ pregnacore”, “menstrucore”?
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When I was writing this yesterday, I wondered why I didn’t call it out, too. I saw the Menocore feature at the time and decided not to give it any more oxygen. To rise above it. But it is insulting and annoying and just NOT funny.
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Joanna says:
I am with everyone on comfy and when you find it, it is fabulous. However I whole heartedly agree with those commenting on the ‘holy grail’ of any outfit, comfortable underwear.
For me, it has been a ‘forever issue’. I have spent a fortune on items only to be disappointed with bras that cut you in half long before the days end and as for and pants/knickers, they are just a whole other story. I have resorted to “going commando” (which can be strangely liberating) and wearing husbands pants which being thicker in material can offer more comfort. Anything is worth a try.
Looking forward to that underwear post -
Thank you, Joyce and Maudie for the advice about where to find comfy tights. I’ll check them out. The only ones I have found are from the Italian brand Calzedonia, I don’t know if they are available in the UK. They have some super-soft wool/cashmere blend tights with a comfy waistband. And in wonderful colours.
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I am wearing Marks and Spencer 100 denier thermal tights with 8% wool, 62% cotton. (£8 a pair) in a size too big for me. Perfection – bizarrely for me the wool does not irritate at all, they are not at all ‘sweaty’ or scratchy and a size up works a treat. As an aside, M&S Sumptuously Soft padded full cup bras are not too unfeminine and seriously comfortable. This is from the woman who is not an M&S fan – hypocrite that I am!
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Lauren says:
I love your coat! So easy to dress up or down and my favourite colour…..now I need to find one for me
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I am bamboozled; in this post-truth, post-post-modern, heavy irony world I can’t be sure what Man Repeller is on about. But lordy, how tired am I with labelling. First granbod, then ath-leisure, now menocore. The labelling is hardly sisterly. And the menopause is quite boring after you are done with it, like people telling you their pregnancy stories when your kids are ten. Wear what you like; it’s mad to do anything else.
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Roelien says:
I agree as well, but clothes and stereotype labelling often go hand in hand. Actually, the text doesn’t seem to be written with bad or demeaning intentions. It suffers from superficial thinking and the arrogance of youth. The writer’s mindset is (grand)daughterly rather than sisterly.
That’s her loss when she craves wearing comfortable easy-breezy clothes but supposes they are meant for other, older people.
Anyway, this is the first time I’ve read the word menocore since she posted her musings on wanting to dress like Diane Keaton – who has been a sartorial role-model to many for decades now.
Alison, you were right to ignore the whole thing at first.
And thank you for your work.
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Jo says:
I love your followers and their comments almost as much as I love your column Alyson, great bunch!
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Sarah says:
I’m with you! (I love what Annie Green says, BTW). Comfort is everything. Fit is everything. I’m done with the rest of it.
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Claire B says:
Menocore – what an impossibly smug, patronising and irritating article. And apparently we can compare ourselves to a bowl of pineapple. What utter drivel.
Love the outfits you’ve highlighted Alyson, especially the long coat! -
Mary says:
I enjoyed this post and the comments and agree with the sentiments about comfort. I also agree that cashmere is extremely comfortable to wear but, sadly, much of the cashmere available in the shops today is produced in conditions that are very bad for the environment and/or the surrounding communities. There is ethically produced cashmere but it tends to be expensive. As someone who definitely craves that level of comfort in her clothing I buy the very occasional piece of ethically produced cashmere (to be honest, only one piece so far and it is now well-worn and darned, but will be replaced when it is really worn out) and supplement this with pieces from second-hand shops. I think that it is worth considering the source and environmental impact of our clothes, as well as the comfort.
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Laurel Armstrong says:
Dress up comfort – slim black or navy paints, wonderfully colourful tunic tops, odd but comfortable shoes and crazy patterned socks, unique earrings and scarf or necklace. This combo works four seasons (being in Ontario, Canada) by adjusting the weight of tunics and cami underneath.
Love the opportunity to ‘thrift’ colourful jackets and accessories – passed along to new owners for a while. And the key to all this focus is me being comfortable, day into evening, no matter the event or celebration. Affordable comfort with style – that’s appealing too, as an early senior person not wanting to spend a lot of money and trying to reduce my wardrobe choices in limited closet space.
Thanks to all for the remarks to this article and thanks to Alyson for creating interesting and wearable wardrobes, so worthy of note. Gave your book to both my daughters recently – they are the leaders in thrifting for themselves and their boys. Thanks for the realistic wardrobe ideas! -
Maria says:
You look fabulous and oh so comfortable. May I ask the brand/style of the white sneakers in the top photo please?
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Hello Maria, the trainers are Grenson from autumn/winter, so I’m not sure if they’re still available. They were loaned for the shoot.
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annie says:
Thank you, Alyson, for saying what’s needed to be said for so long. I sacrificed comfort for trends for too long and I’m so over that! When I am comfortable in my clothing, know that it fits well and be assured that by 6:00 p.m. in the evening, my only thought won’t be, “When can I get out of these clothes?!”, life is so much gentler. Others can call it as they wish, I know in time they will grow in wisdom and choose their words more carefully.
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Oh yesss! A comfy philosophy I’ve followed for years. I know I’ve been looked at askance more than once, especially when I was younger, but even now as long as I have shiny hair, pretty nails, a decent lipstick and my clothes don’t frighten the horses, then I’ll plump for ease of wearing first followed closely by a, hopefully, certain flair. I just love seeing ladies looking at ease yet classy, something you have absolutely nailed, Alyson.